'iya

so booked my flights home today!decided to sack the last month of uni off cause two hours a week till the end of June was just ridic, and i have a job interview...so going homeo 1st of June..WOOO!

http://justlittlethings.tumblr.com/  do it....if you click on archive it shows them all at the same time so you don't have to click and scroll so often..
i always rub my eyes when I'm tired so i love that one..













these are just some pictures i like from my flatmates tumblr!

so when i talked about before how we have freedom cause we can rest in the fact that we don't need our will fulfilled, and we don't have control..been thinking that it also gives us freedom of image; being back in Leeds, being quite attacked about the way i look and just finding it really difficult not to let it get to me too much..but I've realised that the way i look doesn't matter and as long as my heart is seeking God then that is ALL THAT MATTERS..and if i look nice well that's OK but it won't mean anything in eternity...not saying that its wrong to care about how you look, but it can easily for me become too important; trying on everything i own and then having a bitch fit and proclaiming 'i'm not going out, everything i have is hideous... ' just to go to Morrison's for a food shop just isn't OK.thankfully i have Danielle to tell me to wise up and that I'm being a princess but still something i have to keep an eye on i think!
however i do wish it was sunny in Leeds so i could wear my new straw hat.......

cause its bigger than uss..

i, for once in my life, have a normal sleeping pattern!WOOO...this is excited...got up yesturday at like 8 and wasnt tired, no nap during the day and last night went to bed at like half ten, read for a bit then was asleep by like half 11, this morning up for gym at like 7 and i'm sweet!no nap, gym again tonight and then sleep..i am excited not to be tired or asleep all the time.ha

so just back from gym, waiting for danielle to get out of the shower..got to wear my new jogging bottoms.woo!

this is from a tumblr called just-littlethings..and if you ever forget how blessed you are you should find it, google it or something but its just a list of things that will put a smile on your face

















so part2, bought some BRIGHT red lipstick today....interesting..

my devotions last night has sparked some thoughts in me...
Phil4v7

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus"

i just like that verse not sure how it overly relates to these thoughts but we shall see..

right...its horrible to be trapped in the constant worry about myself and my future etc, and the things that i want, and want NOW!By falling more and more in love with Jesus I've given, or try to daily, give over my will to him..And i have found that there is FREEDOM in knowing that i only want what God wants, because that is whats going to bring me the most joy and although what he wants might not be what my flesh wants, and might be difficult, it is what will build the character of Christ in me! I don't have to worry or stress or try to orchestrate my life, relationships or events because i love my Father and as long as i am constantly running to him - nothing else really matters. And what i have found, is that it is when 'nothing else' matters that, that 'nothing else' seems to be rather perfect :)

there is freedom in knowing that i won't get what i want!

there is peace!

went to see my knew house the other day with Danielle!its just lovely...little cottage for the two of us and D.W, Kelly and hevs are living like next door...so excited to move out of Little London and away from the mandem.

do you feel it?

having a coke with you
is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne 
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona 
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian 
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt 
partly because of the fluoresent orange tulips around the birches 
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary 
it is hard to believe when I'm with you that there can be anything as still 
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it 
in the warm New York 4 o'clock light we are drifting back and forth 
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles 

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint 
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them 
                                                                                                    I look 
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world 
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it's in the Frick 
which thank heavens you haven't gone to yet so we can go together the first time 
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism 
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or 
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me 
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them 
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank 
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn't pick the rider as carefully 
as the horse 
                            it seems they were all cheated of some marvellous experience 
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it


this is by Frank O'Hara...its lovely


i always sit down to write these things and everything i wanted to say just vanishes from my brain and instead its filled with silly things..ha..


So some of the super injunctions are going to be lifted ..I'm not sure how i feel about this..i think that people do have a right to privacy, like when its they're kids names or they're private info, but for sordid affairs..?if they weren't dabbling in debauchery then they would have nothing to hide..and for some reason it seems to be quite acceptable to have affairs as long as they can keep in on the dl?As for politicians, i don't really think they should be allowed super - injunctions on the media for immorality..cause they're leading the country? Instead of hiding it, or having to apologize for sleeping with your secretary on your desk, how about just not doing it in the first place? imagine, being faithful to your partner..WOAAHH..


Read this book in America called Grace Exchange and there was a story analogy thing that was in it and its just been in my head a bit recently..prob not gonna be able to tell it right but I'll try..you should get the book..
So there's like this really really rich King over a country and he has no son for an heir..so he goes onto the streets and adopts like a street urchin..in my head its Oliver, like steals him away from Fagans oily clutches..sorry sidebar..but anyway so he adopts him and the urchin comes to live in the palace and he will one day own the country and rule etc and he can have anything he wants now..So obv like the street urchins buzzin...but the King keeps a wee eye on him and notices that he keeps slipping like the odd gold plate or candlestick into his pocket (not sure how you casually slip that into your pocket but go with it). Anyway the street urchin is stealing from the king because he doesn't grasp that he is adopted, its like he believes one day this is gonna run out and he's gonna be back on the street so he starts preparing for that now..he is legally a prince, and will one day be a king..but he still has the attitude of distrust, fear and begins to hoard the treasures in the palace...Instead of acknowledging that he is a prince, his future is secure, he doesn't need to worry about the things of the world cause his now father is looking after him and will continue to, unitll he himself is king..
we are the street urchins.
we cling to things that God has given to us cause we miss the point.
we are royalty.

jack karouac

"...the only people for me are the mad ones

the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved

desirous of everything at the same time

the ones that never yawn or say a common place thing

but!they burn burn burn 

like a fabulous roman candle 

exploding like spiders across the stars 
and in the middle you see the blue centre light pop 

and everybody goes 'awwww'....."

and i am addicted to this like you would not believe....

jamie xx is playing sunday night in leeds and i wana go so freaking bad..but i wont..and thats ok :)

dear heart, how like you this...?

become quite obsessed with this poem by Sir Thomas Wyatt..there was an article about it in vogue, comparing the relationship between Anne Boleyn and Henry the Eighth and Will and Kate...And this Wyatt was one of King Henry's lads, but he was in love with Anne Boleyn too!apparently any way...and there's just this one line and it says "...There withal sweetly did me kiss, and softly say, 'dear heart, how like you this?'" and i just love it..

at the minute i also love Psalm 62..you know the way sometimes a chapter is just in your head..like i kept thinking over and over psalm 62..so i was sure i musta read it before but turns out i hadn't...but I'm swiftly falling in love with itt..trying to learn some of it off by heart..i love verses1-2 and 5-6..they're pretty similar but they just talk about finding rest in God and putting my hope in him..since being back in Leeds theres been days when I've felt really defeated..like i didn't think i could do it..and God was just chuckling away, like 'Sophie, you cant do it...we've been through this beforee..get up and wise up and KNOW that i am the only thing that satisfies and i am BIGGER than anything in this world and i LOVE you..' Thank you God for saving me!!And then i am just so blessed...faced some funny reactions in Leeds to this sudden change in my behaviour..the most common one is laughter..and also then people just say that it wont last...But there are people, who i love ALOT who are encouraging me too and its awesome..
I also love v11-12...where it talks about God is strong and he loves me..theres a Jon Foreman song based on the same thing..Called Your Love Is Strong funny enough..but its awesome..like God is strong, and he loves us..but his love is strong too!flip yes!

Also at the minute just loving Come Thou Fount..listened to the Sufjan Stevens version about a hundred times..it just fills me with serious amounts of joy..just the most beautiful lyrics..

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Sorrowing I shall be in spirit,
Till released from flesh and sin,
Yet from what I do inherit,
Here Thy praises I'll begin;
Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.


(next tattoo maybe?we shall see)


so Leeds is great..got involved with the student life group..which is kinda like a house group i think..going to that next week, and helping out with a big youth event they're having at the end of the month!!In church i was like right I'm gonna go speak to someone at the end to get more involved but of course i got too scaredd...ahahaa but someone came over to us!!and was like hi, just noticed you were knew wanted to come say hi..me and Hannah were like uhh we've been coming here since September..But i think like when you don't wanna be involved in church you wont be..cause i had opened my heart to a church (scary) people noticed!so i asked her about house group and then we got chatting and i said i did youth work at uni and she was like ooh you have to help out..hahaaa which is awesome!God is def looking out for me even when I'm too scared!


definitely think Gods working on some anger issues in me too..ha I've noticed that its like my default emotion?that when something goes wrong i just get angry!!and I've noticed past couple of times when something happens that normally i would kick right off at, i haven't..actually managed to be quite rational for once which is definitely not me..


writing alot of letters at the minute..to people but like not actually giving them..i might one day, depends how things turn out..but i learnt when i was in America that i find it really difficult when I'm feeling something not to just say it..cause i am learning, slowly but surely, that sometimes theres


going to the gym alot, which is horrid but good...determined to lose the America weight from various peanut flavoured goods...


watched million pound drop tonight with Danielle, and we played along online...honestly thought i was gonna throw up i was laughing that hard..we are going on that show like!


another edit..learning alot about singleness, reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye..and i like it!a bit extreme in parts but good..and i am happy being single!which for me is bizarre..i really had to get to a point where God had said, what if i ask you to be single for the rest of your life?and i would be ok with that!when He first asked me i flipped..God is very blunt with me alot..and i was like just like WHAT?ehh i will not be single for the rest of my life..and he was like well what if thats what i want for you...and i was like...oh..hahaa.obv it would be hard, but then my whole entire heart would belong to Jesus and noone else and that excites me!however i have a desire for a family and i believe thats from God..but we so often view singleness as a time of want and striving for relationships..but God has you and me single for a reason and you had better believe he's gonna use that time to change you heart..to conform you to his will to be the image of Christ..


God is good..in all things.
read psalm62, and 57.