don't be a prostitute

just re-posted two old blogs from last october cause they kinda relate to this one.

So i started reading Judges, and i love it!but came across this verse

"Yet they would no listen to their judges but prostituted themselves to other gods.."
2v17a
 as the previous blogs show, i really identify with this metaphor that we cheated on God that's used in Hosea.
I was reading about it in my Matthew Henry concordance and he says

"idolatry is spiritual adultery"

woah

so i looked up in the dictionary the definition of 'prostitute' 

obviously the first one was to sell your body for sex, but the second definition was this 

"One who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose"

God was royally annoyed because the Israelites were worthy of so much more than idols..how could they believe that something they created with their hands could be a god?!

you are WORTHY

you are worth Jesus, that's how much God paid for you

so don't prostitute yourself to popularity and material possessions

those things are not worthy of you, when the king of kings died to save your soul

don't give yourself or your God given talents to the things of this world when you are made for the kingdom of God

don't let these things rule you're life because you will be selling yourself short

you are worthy of God, put him first in all things
live like the royalty that you have been bought for
don't be a prostitute
cause you are loved and you were not cheap

repeat

"The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, 
though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. 
Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites,
 though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. 

Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”

Hos3v1-3

God made us, thus, we belong to him

however, we cheated on him

and as i have done that analogie half to death, i hope you understand 

we betrayed him

but he bought us back

so you buy a dog
it runs away
you find it
and you have to pay for it again
annoying?
you bet...
now imagine that dog is really badly behaved
it rolls in dead badgers and wees on the good rug, bites you all the time and keeps you up all night
if it ran away would you even bother to look for it?
would you search and strive for it?
would your heart break for that misbehaving dog?
and if you found it with someone who didn't love it that much, fed it but never took it for a walk, lived in a disgusting house so didn't care that it pissed on the carpet and let the dog bite and growl and misbehave but sometimes kicked it for no reason and you had drag the dog away, would you?
would you pay more that what you payed for it in the first place knowing that it would mean you'd have to get rid of all the carpet in your house and spend alot of time teaching it not to bite you..and knowing it would run back to that dirty house again?
would you pay for it?
i am the dog.
that loves the world more than i should
but the man who owns me?has made me then paid for me again, has limitless patience teaching me, the world kicks me and his heart breaks, watches me run away only to pursue me and loves me enough to never let me go despite how badly i treat him

repeat

"She has said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my food and my water,

my wool and my linen, my olive oil and my drink.

Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes; 

I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. 

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; 

She will look for them but not find them. 

Then she will say, 

‘I will go back to my husband as at first, 

 for then I was better off than now.’ 

She has not acknowledged that I was the one 

who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, 

who lavished on her the silver and gold— 

   which they used for Baal...

 I will ruin her vines and her fig trees, 

   which she said were her pay from her lovers; 

I will make them a thicket, 

   and wild animals will devour them. 

 I will punish her for the days 

   she burned incense to the Baals; 

she decked herself with rings and jewelry, 

   and went after her lovers, 

   but me she forgot,” 

            declares the LORD.

Therefore I am now going to allure her; 

   I will lead her into the wilderness 

   and speak tenderly to her.

“In that day,” declares the LORD, 

   “you will call me ‘my husband’; 

   you will no longer call me ‘my master..'

 I will betroth you to me forever; 

   I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, 

   in love and compassion. 

 I will betroth you in faithfulness, 

   and you will acknowledge the LORD"

the she is Israel but it is also me

i chased after my lovers

rather the things that i loved but did not love me back

urban outfitters is not in love with me..shocking i know

i stalked the things that i believe satisfied me

i pursued and i longed

but God blocked my path

He walled me in with dissatisfaction, discontent and heartbreak

so that i would go back to Him..

the lover of my heart

my lover, as in, lover of me

lover of me despite my adultery with the world

lover of me despite my attempt to cheat on him with the earthly

lover of me despite my naivety that something created could fill a crater made for the creator

i went after lovers and forgot about Him

so, He entices me to the wilderness

emotionally to a barren land

where i am alone

lets me sit and wail that i am alone

and He knows i am alone

everyone knows i am alone

i have been enticed here because He burned all my temporary bridges
and that is a blessing
He wants to build me one permanent bridge

i want to be here because those bridges led to hell

i am scared

i don't want to be alone..

so He gives me one option

He knows that i am indecisive, He made me that way

one option

Him

and then i realise, i'm not a slave to this

He isn't my ruler

he is my lover

to have and to hold

in sickness and in health

through better through worse

to love and to cherish untill....

the end of time

that changes the dynamic a bit

i no longer have to 

i want to 

i will happily spend time with the love of my life every day

my boss? not so much

i could read letters from Him all day long, 

read about His history, and His future and how He feels about me

i do not enjoy reports, hourly updates nor a biography of my boss

and He puts me in His heart forever

He commits to me passion, faithfulness, righteousness and compassion..

and He will make me acknowledge him

i am a-ok with that

read Hosea.

heart song

And now the weak say I have strength

By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead

And now the poor stand and confess

That my portion is Him and I'm more than blessed

Let now our hearts burn with a flame

A fire consuming all for your Son's holy name

And with the heavens we declare

You are our king

We love you Lord, we worship you

You are our God, you alone are good

You asked your Son to carry this

The heavy cross our weight of sin

I love you Lord, I worship you

Hope which was lost, now stands renewed

I give my life to honour this

The love of Christ, the Saviour king

Let now your church shine as the bride

That you soar in your heart as you offered up your life

Let now the lost be welcomed home

By the saved and redeemed those adopted as your own

I give my life to honour this

The love of Christ, the Saviour king

got baptised, let hannah tattoo me and finished uni

been so busy but amongst it all God is faithful, even when i am not
been reading the Old Testament and it's amazing..
I love how God included so much of history in the Bible, all about the tribe of Judah, the tribe Jesus came from.
I love how he knew we would want to know
but throughout all that i've read, and all that i know about my God i am continually astonished by how much her refuses to give up on us.
Was reading Daniel last night and the kings just make the same mistakes over and over and over again,
but God is constantly in pursuit of the hearts of the human race

these past couple of weeks i've felt like giving up on alot of stuff, on alot of people and on myself..
on university, i had written all of my dissertation, apart from the introduction and it was a huge struggle..more than once i thought about just sacking it all of, and giving up..
but God wants me to work with young people, to do that i really need a degree..and now i'm finished, the people i care about are proud of me, i can do the work God has for me.
don't give up on God's plan

like i said before i do really struggle with people and sometimes i've really drawn a line under a relationship and just be like i'm done with you, i'll try to love you but we are never gonna be friends..
but Jesus never saw people like that, thankfully! and Jesus has the final word, so i'm going to try and try to be your friend no matter how many times you cut me down i'm afraid.
don't give up on people because no doubt God has a purpose for them in your life

i never planned to get baptised, ALC was having a baptismal service, which i knew about but i didn't sign up for, even though it was something that had been on my mind. Walked into church on Sunday night and my Pastor said to me, sophie, are you getting baptised tonight? I said no, he said i think that will change...
then during worship my heart started pounding, but i couldn't get baptised, i didn't have clothes, or a towel and my mum wasn't there and i wasn't prepared...
During Daves talk he challenged all of my excuses, you don't have to be prepared, we have swim shorts, tshirts and towels for anyone who wants to get baptised tonight, and we will be taking pictures for your family..
i went to the back and started freaking out, i realised the real reason i didn't want to get baptised, i was too scared to declare in front of my church that i was a christian, because i knew i would mess it all up again...i was crying my heart out and so scared. i knew what i had to do but i couldn't do it, my flesh was fighting it too much..i was praying and just saying 'i can't do it, i'll mess up' and i just heard God say 'i don't care...'
don't give up on yourself
you're never gonna get better at being a Christian, you will always sin, God doesn't care.
and this week i made some really bad choices and had a foul attitude in some things..but it's paid for and forgiven.



i let my friend tattoo me with india ink and a safety pin, a tiny cross on my wedding finger...
i am God's before i am anyone else's