banksy

you may feel like you're living in a nightmare but it is not finished
the final bell hasn't rung
the fat lady hasn't sung
the dream has not been cancelled
don't let it win

more Hosea

"The Lord said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, 
though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. 
Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites,
 though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”

So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley. 

Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will behave the same way toward you.”

Hos3v1-3

God made us, thus, we belong to him

however, we cheated on him

and as i have done that analogie half to death, i hope you understand 

we betrayed him

but he bought us back

so you buy a dog
it runs away
you find it
and you have to pay for it again
annoying?
you bet...
now imagine that dog is really badly behaved
it rolls in dead badgers and wees on the good rug, bites you all the time and keeps you up all night
if it ran away would you even bother to look for it?
would you search and strive for it?
would your heart break for that misbehaving dog?
and if you found it with someone who didn't love it that much, fed it but never took it for a walk, lived in a disgusting house so didn't care that it pissed on the carpet and let the dog bite and growl and misbehave but sometimes kicked it for no reason and you had drag the dog away, would you?
would you pay more that what you payed for it in the first place knowing that it would mean you'd have to get rid of all the carpet in your house and spend alot of time teaching it not to bite you..and knowing it would run back to that dirty house again?
would you pay for it?
i am the dog.
that loves the world more than i should
but the man who owns me?has made me then paid for me again, has limitless patience teaching me, the world kicks me and his heart breaks, watches me run away only to pursue me and loves me enough to never let me go despite how badly i treat him

passenger seat

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"Do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed then I'll be your pride
When you need directions then I'll be the guide
For all time.
For all time.

Jesus gave everything,
his life, his purity, his will, his Father and his family
so i am learning that really it shouldn't be too much for me to give up 'that' relationship, the next 3 years of my life, that bad attitude and the money that isn't mine anyway..
and i should do it joyfully and with a loving heart
like he did
when God asks you for something its with good reason..
"i want you to love me more so i'm asking for you to give that up..."
and we will be rewarded for obedience
i like being obedient
and when we aren't i have images of a father prying the grubby hands of a child from something that is bad for them..
although its not easy and the rebellious teenager in me demands, BUT WHY SHOULD I
and when God replies, "Because I say so.."
its hard not to have flashbacks to being fifteen
but He shouldn't have to give me a reason
i trust him
and
he gave his son for me

My song shall ever be

My Saviour, i love you

Jesus take all of me

Hosea 2

"She has said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my food and my water,

my wool and my linen, my olive oil and my drink.

Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes; 

I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. 

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; 

She will look for them but not find them. 

Then she will say, 

‘I will go back to my husband as at first, 

 for then I was better off than now.’ 

She has not acknowledged that I was the one 

who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, 

who lavished on her the silver and gold— 

   which they used for Baal...

 I will ruin her vines and her fig trees, 

   which she said were her pay from her lovers; 

I will make them a thicket, 

   and wild animals will devour them. 

 I will punish her for the days 

   she burned incense to the Baals; 

she decked herself with rings and jewelry, 

   and went after her lovers, 

   but me she forgot,” 

            declares the LORD.

Therefore I am now going to allure her; 

   I will lead her into the wilderness 

   and speak tenderly to her.

“In that day,” declares the LORD, 

   “you will call me ‘my husband’; 

   you will no longer call me ‘my master..'

 I will betroth you to me forever; 

   I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, 

   in love and compassion. 

 I will betroth you in faithfulness, 

   and you will acknowledge the LORD"

the she is Israel but it is also me

i chased after my lovers

rather the things that i loved but did not love me back

urban outfitters is not in love with me..shocking i know

i stalked the things that i believe satisfied me

i pursued and i longed

but God blocked my path

He walled me in with dissatisfaction, discontent and heartbreak

so that i would go back to Him..

the lover of my heart

my lover, as in, lover of me

lover of me despite my adultery with the world

lover of me despite my attempt to cheat on him with the earthly

lover of me despite my naivety that something created could fill a crater made for the creator

i went after lovers and forgot about Him

so, He entices me to the wilderness

emotionally to a barren land

where i am alone

lets me sit and wail that i am alone

and He knows i am alone

everyone knows i am alone

i have been enticed here because He burned all my temporary bridges
and that is a blessing
He wants to build me one permanent bridge

i want to be here because those bridges led to hell

i am scared

i don't want to be alone..

so He gives me one option

He knows that i am indecisive, He made me that way

one option

Him

and then i realise, i'm not a slave to this

He isn't my ruler

he is my lover

to have and to hold

in sickness and in health

through better through worse

to love and to cherish untill....

the end of time

that changes the dynamic a bit

i no longer have to 

i want to 

i will happily spend time with the love of my life every day

my boss? not so much

i could read letters from Him all day long, 

read about His history, and His future and how He feels about me

i do not enjoy reports, hourly updates nor a biography of my boss

and He puts me in His heart forever

He commits to me passion, faithfulness, righteousness and compassion..

and He will make me acknowledge him

i am a-ok with that

read Hosea.