Hosea 2

"She has said, I will go after my lovers, who give me my food and my water,

my wool and my linen, my olive oil and my drink.

Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes; 

I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. 

She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; 

She will look for them but not find them. 

Then she will say, 

‘I will go back to my husband as at first, 

 for then I was better off than now.’ 

She has not acknowledged that I was the one 

who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, 

who lavished on her the silver and gold— 

   which they used for Baal...

 I will ruin her vines and her fig trees, 

   which she said were her pay from her lovers; 

I will make them a thicket, 

   and wild animals will devour them. 

 I will punish her for the days 

   she burned incense to the Baals; 

she decked herself with rings and jewelry, 

   and went after her lovers, 

   but me she forgot,” 

            declares the LORD.

Therefore I am now going to allure her; 

   I will lead her into the wilderness 

   and speak tenderly to her.

“In that day,” declares the LORD, 

   “you will call me ‘my husband’; 

   you will no longer call me ‘my master..'

 I will betroth you to me forever; 

   I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, 

   in love and compassion. 

 I will betroth you in faithfulness, 

   and you will acknowledge the LORD"

the she is Israel but it is also me

i chased after my lovers

rather the things that i loved but did not love me back

urban outfitters is not in love with me..shocking i know

i stalked the things that i believe satisfied me

i pursued and i longed

but God blocked my path

He walled me in with dissatisfaction, discontent and heartbreak

so that i would go back to Him..

the lover of my heart

my lover, as in, lover of me

lover of me despite my adultery with the world

lover of me despite my attempt to cheat on him with the earthly

lover of me despite my naivety that something created could fill a crater made for the creator

i went after lovers and forgot about Him

so, He entices me to the wilderness

emotionally to a barren land

where i am alone

lets me sit and wail that i am alone

and He knows i am alone

everyone knows i am alone

i have been enticed here because He burned all my temporary bridges
and that is a blessing
He wants to build me one permanent bridge

i want to be here because those bridges led to hell

i am scared

i don't want to be alone..

so He gives me one option

He knows that i am indecisive, He made me that way

one option

Him

and then i realise, i'm not a slave to this

He isn't my ruler

he is my lover

to have and to hold

in sickness and in health

through better through worse

to love and to cherish untill....

the end of time

that changes the dynamic a bit

i no longer have to 

i want to 

i will happily spend time with the love of my life every day

my boss? not so much

i could read letters from Him all day long, 

read about His history, and His future and how He feels about me

i do not enjoy reports, hourly updates nor a biography of my boss

and He puts me in His heart forever

He commits to me passion, faithfulness, righteousness and compassion..

and He will make me acknowledge him

i am a-ok with that

read Hosea.