sleeping pills

hi..its been a while
i went on holiday, stayed with my dad in London, moved back to Leeds, partied, crashed
and here i am

September was an interesting month
i became shamelessly addicted to myself
i have exhausted myself by trying to fight against God
i am angry all over again
i i i
hahaha doesn't ever change with me does it?
but I'm trying to get back to where i was
trying
straining
purposefully walking into love
finding purpose
psalm 62
God ALONE is my salvation
and alone is my fortress
heaven is my home
my heart hurts and my shoulders are heavy
but my king wants to spend some time with me
he is my rest
asda sleeping pills help me sleep
but when i wake up i am still knackered
because what i am fighting is not physical
and some days i lose the fight
but Jesus doesn't lose the war
I've read the last chapter
i know how the story ends
i get prince charming and we live happily ever after
at the minute I'm faced with the ugly step sisters
self and sin
bitches.
self and sin don't win in the fairy tale
clothes
money
boys
popularity
all lose
all the world holds dear
i count it as loss

"though i have fallen i will rise
though i sit in darkness the Lord is my light"
micah7v8-9

"then Jesus took her by the hand and said 'talitha koum' (which means 'little girl get up' in Aramaic..)"
mark5v41

GET UP