coffee dates and conversations

so its strange being home..the blogs will probably be quite different noww..

I have been truely blessed with great friends..its difficult having two very different groups of friends..but both are awesome..

I am excited for what God is going to do in Bangor, I'm not sure what it will look like, i am sure it will be very different from o.t.w...but i know it will be incredible..when people give God room to move, he will move..

I am continually falling into the trap of being dissapointed with people and myself..its highly frustrating..i need to learn a little more grace i think.

God has just been pressing on my heart Matt28v20b...."i am with you always...even to the end of the agee.."

my God is a God of reconcilliation.

202 views...

sooo....my blogs been looked at 202 times........this is worrying!ha..


its so awesome to be home :) lovely to see people and just talk..


been reading alot about reasonable service....like christianity is our reasonable service...Like umm..its logical!it makes sense for us to give our lives to God, to work for him and be obedient..we think that we deserve rewards and to be blessed but we don't!!we deserve hell.....we do not deserve Jesus, but we get him!!ah i just love this....and he is just MAD about us...my one word to describe Jesus...or God..is jealous...So Don always challenges us to describe God in one word but it can't be christianese..and his is intoxicating..mine is definaltly jealous...and i love itttt..


anyway..sometimes i just get distracted with Jesus...ha..but in the airport i was thinking about Romans 12v1..we looked at it a while ago in our Romans class with Pastor Larry..so the first verse in my bible reads "....in view of God's mercy...offer your bodies as a living sacrifice to God...this is your spiritual act of worship.." so i have an NIV translation and i am learning swiftly that i would like to have alot of translations to look at once..so thank goodness for the internet....i remember Pastor Larry not being too happy with the NIV so i looked up the King James version..."....by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service..." i just love that..like its logical for us to give our lives to him.


then i was reading in Luke 17v7-10.. “Suppose one of you has a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Will he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’?  Won’t he rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’?  Will he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’”


and i just think its so truee..that this is our duty..and we should just do it.without complaining and with a joyful attitude..without expecting a prize here, because we already have the prize..the prize already gave his life so he could have us!and then we will get crowns in heaven when our works are tested by fire...and out of gratitude...we will give the crowns back...we will lay them at our master's feet..cause it would be the honourable thing to do...


Acts20v24 "...however i consider my life worth nothing to me..if only i may finish the race..and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me...the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace..." and this task of sharing the good news of God's unbelievable grace, isn't always a task which requires us to head off to the deepest parts of the Amazon and risk our livess..its a task we should carry out in our daily lives..plant the seed, we cannot make it grow, so do not be discouraged by outcomes that don't always seem profitable...We may not need to sacrifice our lives or jobs..but maybe our popularity, image, things that we put above God..how can we testify to his grace if we are not whole heartedly devoted..and in love with him first and foremost...?

last day

psalm115v3 "our God is in heaven..he does whatever pleases him...."


to our human mind this seems like a violation of our rights..we get so mad..God is selfish he can't just do what he likes with me...


yes he can.


God limits himself...he is not entirely free..he cannot lie, cheat or steal..he cannot sin...so that he is holy and wholly good.


He is outside of time...Matt Chandler uses an illustration like imagine there's an hour long tv show..and i show you one millisecond of it...and i watch the whole thing...and then we argue about what the shows about..who will win?God see's everything..where we came from and where we're going..he not only see's it.he planned it.


so if God is wholly good, and outside of time..already in tomorrow and in 10 years....then i am glad that he does what pleases him.


Eph2v10
"For we are God’s workmanship..created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do...."


the greek for workmanship is polema..which is translated as poetic expressionn...we are God's poetic expression...

you can have all this world just give me Jesus

too hot

so my tan swiftly turned to burn..devvooo..but its soo hot and i can't sleep

buut o2 have bluebook right so they saved every message i sent from like Jan08 till now..and then they had to stop doing it so they emailed me a folder with every text i've ever recieved or sent in my life..and just reading over some of them from 2009..some very funny..some making me sadd!but its just funny how much you change!

never be alone

i have the most ridiculous tan liness..furious..but its so lovely and warm here so i cannot complain..


last night we went for dinner with the pastor of the church that we're here with..they're so lovely..four little gorgeous kids...the youngest son is adopted and he knows, and they explain it to him like its how God adopted us into his family...just made me so happpyy..on the way home was just thinking how good God is and how happy i am..a Chris Tomlin song was on in the car, the amazing grace one..and the last verse is 
"The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbear to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine.." and my heart was just soo happy..forever mine..


God's just been teaching me so much aboout being humble and not putting on a front with people about how i'm doing..and its soo good to hear that other people are feeling the same things..had a good conversation with Bip about plastic christianity..when we pretend that we have everything sorted the world see's us....but when we show our brokeness they see Jesus...in Luke14v15-24 the parable of the banquet the rich and well off will not come because they are too busy and too proud so then the master tells his servant to go out and invite "..."the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame..."


its been so great hanging out with awesome families in lovely homes...just made me pretty excited to have a family and a home..and just love Jesus more and be a housewifeee..


this morning was just thinking about how people make promises that they'll never leave us..but they can't keep these promisess..but Jesus can..and i keeep putting my hope in people but then God gently reminds me that my hope needs to be in him alone...psalm42...


we went to a cupcakery today..it was the cutest thing ever..and the cupcakes were sooo good!!

sunny iowa..

so sitting outside on our host families porch..its like 70f and sunny...nice little breezee..
went for a walk today into the town..its so quiant i love it...loads of little vintage shops with cute things..Reminded me of some romantic things i like....

globes
teapots
train stations (stole this from danielle)
libraries

just romantic..

listening to some lovely northern irish boys sing to me..so lovely..

been reading Mark this week cause we've had quite a bit of free time...was reading Mark4v35 about when Jesus calms the storm..was thinking about it quite a bit..so the disciples go running to Jesus when he's asleep freaking out that that they're all going to die..was thinking, firstly that Jesus is God.soo although he was asleep he probably knew that there was a storm..in life..we go running to Jesus..going absolutely mental cause there's a 'storm..' and i just laughed..cause he knows!!Also Jesus' response is "...be still...have faith..."..And when things are crapp..and difficult..i feel like this is what Jesus tell us...be still..spend some time, alone..with me...and have faith..because you are not the answer to this problem...I am..I am bigger than it and i am in control....God uses the storms to build our faith..when we are content in the season that God has us in, learn what he is trying to teach us, and have faith that he is our Saviour....

1Corinth13

1Corinth13 by Soph Lennon


so this is the vocal recording for the rewrite..i'll put the video up when its done..don't like this because it funny or nice...like it because it conflicts with your heart..be challenged by it...it has nothing to do with me either..just Jesus

iowa

so..we arrived in Cedar Falls, Iowa last night at like 5pm..4pm here cause theres an hour difference..after a loonngg and sweaty drivee..NASTY..cause it was warrmmm..slept a little bit on the drive but not a whole lot..between Don driving on the bumpies at the side of the road, Trav filming on his Ipad and various other distractions it wasn't too easy..

played with the Ipads a bit..fun.they don't seem real..like i can't believe they exist..i filmed Off The Wall safari..if trav ever puts the video online i'll post it here for you to see..was pretty funny...Whilst Don wasn't driving he was hanging out the van window dancing for the passing truck drivers..never a dull moment..

Cause we got here a little early we went to starbucks for a bit..we were all sat next to each other..not talking but having the most random comment conversation ever on Facebook..pretty funny..

Then we went to our host home..and i actually nearly cried..nicest family and house ever!we had pizza and fruit salad for tea, then she made 3 different pies for us for dessert!i had raspberry..was unreal..then we just sat and had a good chat with them, it was lovely..Just realising how blessed i've been...God has been so good to me..

I'm excited to go home too, see everyone..apparently there are some exciting things going on in Bangor..Rather than disliking the place, like i used to..i just wana be part of the changee..love the people..i had such a bad attitude toward it before, which i've had to ask for forgiveness..Now i just wana be back there..I think its where i'm meant to be after Uni etc...excited to hear what people have to say about Don and Trav..i'm sure they will shake things up a bit..ha..

Casting Crowns.......

Living on my own, thinking for myself
Castles in the sand, temporary wealth
Walls are falling down, storms are closing in
Tears have filled my eyes, here I am again

And I've held out as long as I can
Now I'm letting go and holding out my hand
Daddy, here I am again, will you take me back tonight
I went and made the world my friend, and it left me high and dry
I dragged Your name back through the mud
That You first found me in
Not worthy to be called Your son
Is this to be my end?
Daddy, here I am
Here I am again

Curse this morning sun, drags me in to one more day
Of reaping what I've sown, of living with my shame
Welcome to my world, and the life that I have made
Where one day you're a prince, the next day your a slave

attempt two..

this week...also i've been extremely aware of the fact that i need God...i really do..i can't do this by myself, or when i put my trust in others...i need him..and that i am his child..being around Jeff Polen and hearing him talk about his three lovely daughters has shown me so much of Gods unfailing love for me..its been incredible :)

homesickk..

today i really wana go home..miss my friends and family..and tired of having to deal with things! learning and growing is tiring..


have you ever wanted to like just speak your mind..like be sooo brutally honest..but you know you can't..i know i'm all for honesty but sometimes you can't be honest cause its coming from a bad attitude..or it just wouldnt be helpful for where your at right now?this is how i feel..with like several people as well..its highly frustrating..and i'm trying to work  through it..but i just wana send that email soooo freakking bad..so working on some self control theree..


i get so wound up that i can't be perfect..and i wana be so bad..i hate that i continually do things wrong..i have such an imperfect idea of God's forgiveness..getting better though.. i think i just need to remember that God loves me entirely..is always pleased with me..but just sometimes not with the things that i do..Don spoke about it last night at new grounds..that we are not the enemy but our flesh is..i cant explain it as good as he did...hm wish i could..


We were in Phillidelphia in PA this weekendd..heres how the weekend went..so we left at 1am thursday night cause we had to bring ashley to the airport which is two hours away..so then got back to ohio at like half 4..then just had some breakfast at dennys..then left at 6am for PA..7 hour drive..so get there like 1..and run a retreat...i didnt really sleep in the van cause i was soo cold and uncomfortable..then we got the house we were staying at like 12...up again at 6 on saturday..retreat starts at half 8..do that all day..then leave that night at 8 when its over..7 hour drive home..get to bed like half 3..up at 7 for church...and normally we have a meeting at 9am today but thankfuuulllyyy we cancelled it..so slept literally 12 hours it was awesomeeee..!!


then we're going to Iowa on wednesday for week, then home for two days..and i leave!!woo..


Was very emotional yesturday having to say goodbye to some people in church cause i wont be there next week....Pastor Larry embarrassed me so much..in front of the church on sunday morning..was very funnyy..now everyone is trying to pair me up with a boy to marry so i can have citizenship.haha...funnyy..its quite warm here today..but rainy...


"...why are you downcast , O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for i will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God..." Psalm42v11