homesickk..

today i really wana go home..miss my friends and family..and tired of having to deal with things! learning and growing is tiring..


have you ever wanted to like just speak your mind..like be sooo brutally honest..but you know you can't..i know i'm all for honesty but sometimes you can't be honest cause its coming from a bad attitude..or it just wouldnt be helpful for where your at right now?this is how i feel..with like several people as well..its highly frustrating..and i'm trying to work  through it..but i just wana send that email soooo freakking bad..so working on some self control theree..


i get so wound up that i can't be perfect..and i wana be so bad..i hate that i continually do things wrong..i have such an imperfect idea of God's forgiveness..getting better though.. i think i just need to remember that God loves me entirely..is always pleased with me..but just sometimes not with the things that i do..Don spoke about it last night at new grounds..that we are not the enemy but our flesh is..i cant explain it as good as he did...hm wish i could..


We were in Phillidelphia in PA this weekendd..heres how the weekend went..so we left at 1am thursday night cause we had to bring ashley to the airport which is two hours away..so then got back to ohio at like half 4..then just had some breakfast at dennys..then left at 6am for PA..7 hour drive..so get there like 1..and run a retreat...i didnt really sleep in the van cause i was soo cold and uncomfortable..then we got the house we were staying at like 12...up again at 6 on saturday..retreat starts at half 8..do that all day..then leave that night at 8 when its over..7 hour drive home..get to bed like half 3..up at 7 for church...and normally we have a meeting at 9am today but thankfuuulllyyy we cancelled it..so slept literally 12 hours it was awesomeeee..!!


then we're going to Iowa on wednesday for week, then home for two days..and i leave!!woo..


Was very emotional yesturday having to say goodbye to some people in church cause i wont be there next week....Pastor Larry embarrassed me so much..in front of the church on sunday morning..was very funnyy..now everyone is trying to pair me up with a boy to marry so i can have citizenship.haha...funnyy..its quite warm here today..but rainy...


"...why are you downcast , O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for i will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God..." Psalm42v11