Wednesday, 9 March 2011
all things work together for the good of the those who love him
soo...i've been really freaking out about what to do with my life..and today its all fallen into placee...
can't wait to get back to leeds and see my girlss...
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
six weeks down five to go
writing this after a long day and i am very tiredd so this could get emotional
firstly would like to do a little shout out/thanks jobbie....so many people have messaged me about this blog, really encouraging messages and i just would like to say thanks..although sometimes i realise that alot of it is just my own meandering thoughts, and i forget that other people read it, it really nice to have people saying nice things about things i writee, both people who know me well and people who don't...my main hope is that Jesus has been glorified in it all, and that people can see the work that he has done in me...if you knew me before this trip, i was a royal mess....and i had no desire to change..part of me was coming here quite stubborn in thinking that i wouldnt change hahahaaa but i have..The people who know me really well, Sian and Ema and particularly Zoe, as we got alot closer being left in Bangorr, have been so encouraging..they know the distance i have come and the best part is, they are so entirely supportivee..i am nervous of returning to Leeds and Bangor for fear that people will remember my past and not see what God has done, these girls, who maybe don't get the whole 'christian thing' are the most supportive..and for that i will never be able to be thankful enough...and i hope that someday i can return the favour...but thank you to everyone who has messaged me, i appreciate it so much..
today we hung out with Tina's Grandma...and it was just lovelyy...she is so cutee..it made me miss my Granny but i was really humbled by herr..i hope that when i am that age, i am as trusting and as joyful...i am seriously privledged to spend time with her...i love spending time with Jill, Tina, Ashley's and Kelly's family, its lovely to see where they come from...the people who have made them who they are, i feel pretty privledged that i'm allowed to see that side of themm...i just can't explain how lovely Tina's grandma is....
thinking alot about my future and where i'm supposed to be...it's pretty scary as so many oppurtunities are being placed infront of me...arghhhhh...for once in my life theres not a whole lot holding me backk...as God has so graciously won my heart back i just want what he wants....watch this space i guess...Thats something i've been reminded about alot this week, just that passage from Zechariah 2 about the walls of Jerusalem...i God has reclaimed my heart...no one else has it..walls of fireee :)
reading Max Lucado's God Came Near....if you ever get a chance to read this i recommend it big timee...
just learning alot about selflessness, when we get upset or frustrated and worry about things, we are really focusing on ourselves and how we are drowned by the situations facing us..but if i can stop being so stupiddd..and look to God...who is much much bigger than anythingg..i will stop worryingg, stop getting upset or frustrated...remindds me of the Foy Vance song where the lyrics are "and his shoes got covered in mud...oh but he never knew, cause he only looked up..." although the song is really sad, just reminded me that if we look up, we dont see how much crap we're in...cause we're focused on what really matterrs..
"there is no fear in lovee....but perfect love drives out fear..."
1John4v18a
firstly would like to do a little shout out/thanks jobbie....so many people have messaged me about this blog, really encouraging messages and i just would like to say thanks..although sometimes i realise that alot of it is just my own meandering thoughts, and i forget that other people read it, it really nice to have people saying nice things about things i writee, both people who know me well and people who don't...my main hope is that Jesus has been glorified in it all, and that people can see the work that he has done in me...if you knew me before this trip, i was a royal mess....and i had no desire to change..part of me was coming here quite stubborn in thinking that i wouldnt change hahahaaa but i have..The people who know me really well, Sian and Ema and particularly Zoe, as we got alot closer being left in Bangorr, have been so encouraging..they know the distance i have come and the best part is, they are so entirely supportivee..i am nervous of returning to Leeds and Bangor for fear that people will remember my past and not see what God has done, these girls, who maybe don't get the whole 'christian thing' are the most supportive..and for that i will never be able to be thankful enough...and i hope that someday i can return the favour...but thank you to everyone who has messaged me, i appreciate it so much..
today we hung out with Tina's Grandma...and it was just lovelyy...she is so cutee..it made me miss my Granny but i was really humbled by herr..i hope that when i am that age, i am as trusting and as joyful...i am seriously privledged to spend time with her...i love spending time with Jill, Tina, Ashley's and Kelly's family, its lovely to see where they come from...the people who have made them who they are, i feel pretty privledged that i'm allowed to see that side of themm...i just can't explain how lovely Tina's grandma is....
thinking alot about my future and where i'm supposed to be...it's pretty scary as so many oppurtunities are being placed infront of me...arghhhhh...for once in my life theres not a whole lot holding me backk...as God has so graciously won my heart back i just want what he wants....watch this space i guess...Thats something i've been reminded about alot this week, just that passage from Zechariah 2 about the walls of Jerusalem...i God has reclaimed my heart...no one else has it..walls of fireee :)
reading Max Lucado's God Came Near....if you ever get a chance to read this i recommend it big timee...
just learning alot about selflessness, when we get upset or frustrated and worry about things, we are really focusing on ourselves and how we are drowned by the situations facing us..but if i can stop being so stupiddd..and look to God...who is much much bigger than anythingg..i will stop worryingg, stop getting upset or frustrated...remindds me of the Foy Vance song where the lyrics are "and his shoes got covered in mud...oh but he never knew, cause he only looked up..." although the song is really sad, just reminded me that if we look up, we dont see how much crap we're in...cause we're focused on what really matterrs..
"there is no fear in lovee....but perfect love drives out fear..."
1John4v18a
Monday, 7 March 2011
Friday, 4 March 2011
unhinderedd
started reading another of Francis Chan's books, Forgotten God...its about the Holy Spirit and how so often we ignore it...
I'm just reading about following God's plan for our life, and its pretty relevant for me because i'm questioning quite alot what to do with myself..Chan explains how so often we miss God's plan for today, by questioning the future..we should be ready to follow the Holy Spirits guidance for this very second and worry about the future when it comes to it..
then he talks about David in 2 Samuel 6:14, 20-23
"David, wearing a linen ephod danced before the Lord with all his mightt.."
a linen ephod...is priestly underwear! David was so unhindered by the Holy Spirit in his worship of the Lord that he danced about in his knicks...with alll his might!hahaa..i love this so muchh..he didn't care one bit what anyone thought about him, and he is challenged on it..Michal, Saul's daughter calls him a "vulgar fellow" that he has disgraced himself in the eyes of God and his people...but David replies "It was before the Lord who chose me, rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel - I will celebrate before the Lord, I will become even more undignified than this, and i will be humiliated in my own eyess.." AMEN
some other new thingss...Ashleyyyy changed my fb password so that i cannot get on..so if anyone wants to contact mee..for this week at least eitherr skypee sophie-lennon orrr my email is soph_02@hotmail.co.uk ...i felt the need to constantly check it...initially i challenged myself that i had to spend the same amount of time on fb as with Jesus but i realised it wasn't the fact that i was spending a whole lot of time on it, i would just reply to comments and messages and sign out...but i just wanted to check it all the time..not necessary..so i'm fasting off that for a little bitt...Also took my nose ring outt..had kind of been thinking about taking it out for a little bit..felt like it and the shaved head where as close as i could get to writing f**k off on my forehead, at the time, thats what i wanted to do..but thats not who i am anymore..so took it out as we spent a fair amount of time with the Amish people this week, particularly Tina's family and not that i think they would care a whole lot but just out of respect..so i took it out :)
I'm just reading about following God's plan for our life, and its pretty relevant for me because i'm questioning quite alot what to do with myself..Chan explains how so often we miss God's plan for today, by questioning the future..we should be ready to follow the Holy Spirits guidance for this very second and worry about the future when it comes to it..
then he talks about David in 2 Samuel 6:14, 20-23
"David, wearing a linen ephod danced before the Lord with all his mightt.."
a linen ephod...is priestly underwear! David was so unhindered by the Holy Spirit in his worship of the Lord that he danced about in his knicks...with alll his might!hahaa..i love this so muchh..he didn't care one bit what anyone thought about him, and he is challenged on it..Michal, Saul's daughter calls him a "vulgar fellow" that he has disgraced himself in the eyes of God and his people...but David replies "It was before the Lord who chose me, rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel - I will celebrate before the Lord, I will become even more undignified than this, and i will be humiliated in my own eyess.." AMEN
some other new thingss...Ashleyyyy changed my fb password so that i cannot get on..so if anyone wants to contact mee..for this week at least eitherr skypee sophie-lennon orrr my email is soph_02@hotmail.co.uk ...i felt the need to constantly check it...initially i challenged myself that i had to spend the same amount of time on fb as with Jesus but i realised it wasn't the fact that i was spending a whole lot of time on it, i would just reply to comments and messages and sign out...but i just wanted to check it all the time..not necessary..so i'm fasting off that for a little bitt...Also took my nose ring outt..had kind of been thinking about taking it out for a little bit..felt like it and the shaved head where as close as i could get to writing f**k off on my forehead, at the time, thats what i wanted to do..but thats not who i am anymore..so took it out as we spent a fair amount of time with the Amish people this week, particularly Tina's family and not that i think they would care a whole lot but just out of respect..so i took it out :)
Thursday, 3 March 2011
psalm 57
if you've never read it, you should...it makes me crryy..
v1b..for in you my soul takes refugee......and it really doess..we make life awfully complicatedd..but my heart and my soul take refuge in God...
v2...i cry out to God most high, to God who fulfills his purpose for me......i think being able to cry out to God is one of the most humbling things..i often cry out to Godd..for help and peace and joy when i am lacking, and he actually cares..its so amazingg..also find it pretty comforting that no matter how many little detours i try to take, God will fulfill his purpose for me..
v7...my heart is steadfast O God, my heart is steadfast....this is my prayer that my heart will become more and more cemented in God...its all i want...nothing my flesh wants is right or good..i want what he wants..and as much as i want of him, i want it alll, he wants me too, all of me..
v11.....Be exalted, O God above the heavens.....no matter what, may everything bring glory to God, i dont care about what i want or how i lookk..i want it to bring glory to God...
"i'm running to your arms
i'm running to your arms
the riches of your love
will always be enough"
v1b..for in you my soul takes refugee......and it really doess..we make life awfully complicatedd..but my heart and my soul take refuge in God...
v2...i cry out to God most high, to God who fulfills his purpose for me......i think being able to cry out to God is one of the most humbling things..i often cry out to Godd..for help and peace and joy when i am lacking, and he actually cares..its so amazingg..also find it pretty comforting that no matter how many little detours i try to take, God will fulfill his purpose for me..
v7...my heart is steadfast O God, my heart is steadfast....this is my prayer that my heart will become more and more cemented in God...its all i want...nothing my flesh wants is right or good..i want what he wants..and as much as i want of him, i want it alll, he wants me too, all of me..
v11.....Be exalted, O God above the heavens.....no matter what, may everything bring glory to God, i dont care about what i want or how i lookk..i want it to bring glory to God...
i'm running to your arms
the riches of your love
will always be enough"
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