apologies for lack of blogs..had such a hectic week..
Had my birthday last tuesday, which was goodd, as usual when you spend birthdays away from home i was a little sad..missing my lovely mum :( but she sent me a card which arrived on tuesday night so that was sweeeettt..Also was thinking about how much this year has changed me...it's been the year i have been furthest from God and now the closest to God i have ever been..and i think that it was getting so far from God, realising just how much i need Him, which made has made me take refuge entirely in Him..
Then we were away in Michigan for the weekend, left on thursday night and drove for 6 hours then stayed in a hotel, then another hour and a half in the morning to get to the camp where Don and Trav where speaking and Polen were playing..That was interestingg..veryyy funny as usual..
some of my thoughttsss this weekk...hmm..i had a writing project for Jill and Tina this week, had to write about what it was like/what it meant to fall in love with Jesus so maybs i'll share that with you, it was nice to be able to put it on paper, for my creative journal last week i also wrote a love letter to Jesus..which was good but trying, particularly cause last Sunday night my heart hurtt but it was good to do itt..
falling in love with Jesus....its like a breath of fresh air..when you breathe in so deep it hurts your lungs (sidenote if you've never done this, do it!) but you don't want to stop...its joy and peace in abundance and i want everyone to get it..There's no jealousy toward people who have got it more, only admiration. I used to feel bitterness and jealousy and enjoy it festering inside of me but now i hate that i feel those things, even toward people who have hurt me, i want to love them! The people who haven't got it, i want them to, sooo bad and i know the only way i can show it to them is by being as Jesus like as my sinful flesh allows me. the more i trade in bitterness, mistrust, control and anger the more i get back love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self control..
haa..I just want all of God..i want to know Him, not just know about Him!theres a big difference you seeee...!!!In the Bible, in Genesis, when it talks about Adam and Eve it says in literal translation, Adam knew Eve..this is actually translated to Adam lay with Eve...it was an intimate relationship...this is what the Bible means when it calls us to know God and that God knows us..its intimate..he knows all of us..and WANTS TO!when i think about the people i love, i want to know how their days been, what they've been doing, what makes them sad and what makes them laugh..Its the same for God about us, and should be the same for us about God..God wants all of us..He wants to know how our day wentt..what made us happy and why..There's an analogy like think of the children that you know, babysit or relatives, young children that tell you all about their day and their thoughts, and even though you know what they did, or you know their thoughts are ridiculous..you love hearing it..!its the same with God, he knows us all, he knows us better than we know ourselves but he still likes hearing about it..there is no point in hiding our weaknesses from God..we should be barefaced in front of him because he loves us, he wants to know and he wants to help...and we should show our weaknesses to the worldd..because through that they see God's strength and glory...if the world see's christians as these perfect people, then they will think well of course God loves them...but when we show how we struggle with sin and temptation...but God still loves us, and makes us whole..they see his character..
also been reading in Habakkuk, and listening to some podcasts on it by Matt Chandlerr..i recommend them, Travis put one on yesterday on our drive home and i loved it and they're free..But basically Habakkuk is really mad a God, cause God is using the ungodly Chaldeans, to punish the people of Judah who were also ungodly..and basically Habakkuk doesn't get it at all..he's questioning God..Chandler was saying how its ok to question God, He will do things in our lives that we will not understand but as long as we do it from the right position, knowing that he is our creator and we are vastly below himm..and sometimes, if its right, God will show us why, but often he'll have us wait, to strengthen our faith and in the end we'll realise that he was totally right..and we'll feel like idiots..ha
Also been thinking alot about 2 Corinthians 10v5 "and we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." Been trying really hard to do this...i plan things out alot..because social interactions often make me nervous i plan them out in my headd..and we shouldn't do that, we should trust in God, and every small nasty thought, God hears it..so been working hard on holding every thought captive..its not too easy!
so yea..still learning and growing and loving...being filled with joy constantly...receiving so many encouraging emails from lovely people..am very thankful that God can use me in this way, and i hope and trust that he is glorified in every thing i do!
Monday 28 February 2011
Monday 21 February 2011
the joy of the lord is my strength
soo...its been an emotional weekendd...was really homesick sundayy..which then wasn't helped by Don being so cute and giving us all gifts..i was in bits..but reminded me that i am so blessed here with this family that God has given me..i am so very thankfull
last night God revealed something to me that i thought would absolutely crush me..but it didn't..when the people involved decide to go public it will be obvious that this is about them but i'm not sure i care...God has me, entirley..and i'm so joyful through it all..i think the biggest emotion is betrayal but i realised that i should have expected it...God has really showed me the true character of some people..and reminded me of things that have happened in the past...i've given it all entirely to him...i have fallen in love with Jesus and he is all i want...
i am so joyful, so happy and so blessed...but also very tired..
favourite "candy" this week: butterfingers...YUM
little edittt...just had a skype with Caroline and it was lovelyy..reminded me that God does bring true friends in to my lifee..she is so greatt :)
last night God revealed something to me that i thought would absolutely crush me..but it didn't..when the people involved decide to go public it will be obvious that this is about them but i'm not sure i care...God has me, entirley..and i'm so joyful through it all..i think the biggest emotion is betrayal but i realised that i should have expected it...God has really showed me the true character of some people..and reminded me of things that have happened in the past...i've given it all entirely to him...i have fallen in love with Jesus and he is all i want...
i am so joyful, so happy and so blessed...but also very tired..
favourite "candy" this week: butterfingers...YUM
little edittt...just had a skype with Caroline and it was lovelyy..reminded me that God does bring true friends in to my lifee..she is so greatt :)
Friday 18 February 2011
Job 38 - 40:2
1 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:
2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels[a] shouted for joy?
8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?
12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.
16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!
22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,
26 to water a land where no one lives,
an uninhabited desert,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?
31 “Can you bind the chains[b] of the Pleiades?
Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons[c]
or lead out the Bear[d] with its cubs?
33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God’s[e] dominion over the earth?
34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who gives the ibis wisdom[f]
or gives the rooster understanding?[g]
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
38 when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?
39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions
40 when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?
41 Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?
39
1 “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
2 Do you count the months till they bear?
Do you know the time they give birth?
3 They crouch down and bring forth their young;
their labor pains are ended.
4 Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds;
they leave and do not return.
5 “Who let the wild donkey go free?
Who untied its ropes?
6 I gave it the wasteland as its home,
the salt flats as its habitat.
7 It laughs at the commotion in the town;
it does not hear a driver’s shout.
8 It ranges the hills for its pasture
and searches for any green thing.
9 “Will the wild ox consent to serve you?
Will it stay by your manger at night?
10 Can you hold it to the furrow with a harness?
Will it till the valleys behind you?
11 Will you rely on it for its great strength?
Will you leave your heavy work to it?
12 Can you trust it to haul in your grain
and bring it to your threshing floor?
13 “The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
though they cannot compare
with the wings and feathers of the stork.
14 She lays her eggs on the ground
and lets them warm in the sand,
15 unmindful that a foot may crush them,
that some wild animal may trample them.
16 She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
she cares not that her labor was in vain,
17 for God did not endow her with wisdom
or give her a share of good sense.
18 Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
she laughs at horse and rider.
19 “Do you give the horse its strength
or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
20 Do you make it leap like a locust,
striking terror with its proud snorting?
21 It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
and charges into the fray.
22 It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
it does not shy away from the sword.
23 The quiver rattles against its side,
along with the flashing spear and lance.
24 In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground;
it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.
25 At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, ‘Aha!’
It catches the scent of battle from afar,
the shout of commanders and the battle cry.
26 “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
and spread its wings toward the south?
27 Does the eagle soar at your command
and build its nest on high?
28 It dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
a rocky crag is its stronghold.
29 From there it looks for food;
its eyes detect it from afar.
30 Its young ones feast on blood,
and where the slain are, there it is.”
40
1 The LORD said to Job:
2 “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!”
2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
and all the angels[a] shouted for joy?
8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
here is where your proud waves halt’?
12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
and their upraised arm is broken.
16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
Tell me, if you know all this.
19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
You have lived so many years!
22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
or seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
for days of war and battle?
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
and a path for the thunderstorm,
26 to water a land where no one lives,
an uninhabited desert,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
and make it sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father?
Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
when the surface of the deep is frozen?
31 “Can you bind the chains[b] of the Pleiades?
Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons[c]
or lead out the Bear[d] with its cubs?
33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
Can you set up God’s[e] dominion over the earth?
34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
and cover yourself with a flood of water?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who gives the ibis wisdom[f]
or gives the rooster understanding?[g]
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
38 when the dust becomes hard
and the clods of earth stick together?
39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
and satisfy the hunger of the lions
40 when they crouch in their dens
or lie in wait in a thicket?
41 Who provides food for the raven
when its young cry out to God
and wander about for lack of food?
39
1 “Do you know when the mountain goats give birth?
Do you watch when the doe bears her fawn?
2 Do you count the months till they bear?
Do you know the time they give birth?
3 They crouch down and bring forth their young;
their labor pains are ended.
4 Their young thrive and grow strong in the wilds;
they leave and do not return.
5 “Who let the wild donkey go free?
Who untied its ropes?
6 I gave it the wasteland as its home,
the salt flats as its habitat.
7 It laughs at the commotion in the town;
it does not hear a driver’s shout.
8 It ranges the hills for its pasture
and searches for any green thing.
9 “Will the wild ox consent to serve you?
Will it stay by your manger at night?
10 Can you hold it to the furrow with a harness?
Will it till the valleys behind you?
11 Will you rely on it for its great strength?
Will you leave your heavy work to it?
12 Can you trust it to haul in your grain
and bring it to your threshing floor?
13 “The wings of the ostrich flap joyfully,
though they cannot compare
with the wings and feathers of the stork.
14 She lays her eggs on the ground
and lets them warm in the sand,
15 unmindful that a foot may crush them,
that some wild animal may trample them.
16 She treats her young harshly, as if they were not hers;
she cares not that her labor was in vain,
17 for God did not endow her with wisdom
or give her a share of good sense.
18 Yet when she spreads her feathers to run,
she laughs at horse and rider.
19 “Do you give the horse its strength
or clothe its neck with a flowing mane?
20 Do you make it leap like a locust,
striking terror with its proud snorting?
21 It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength,
and charges into the fray.
22 It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing;
it does not shy away from the sword.
23 The quiver rattles against its side,
along with the flashing spear and lance.
24 In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground;
it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds.
25 At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, ‘Aha!’
It catches the scent of battle from afar,
the shout of commanders and the battle cry.
26 “Does the hawk take flight by your wisdom
and spread its wings toward the south?
27 Does the eagle soar at your command
and build its nest on high?
28 It dwells on a cliff and stays there at night;
a rocky crag is its stronghold.
29 From there it looks for food;
its eyes detect it from afar.
30 Its young ones feast on blood,
and where the slain are, there it is.”
40
1 The LORD said to Job:
2 “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!”
Tuesday 15 February 2011
just call me joyfull..
here are some things i have learnt in the past weekk....
1. Who the flip do i think i am??
I have nothing to give to God...there's not one thing in me which is attractive to Him. If i think i am saved by my works i am sadly mistaken, if i think that my faith in God is my own creation i am fooled.. There is nothing good in me, there is nothing for me to boast in. Even our faith in God as Saviour, the one good thing about us, is from God.
Ephesians 2:8-9 "for it is by grace you have been saved through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works so that no one can boast."
Funny how well God knows us...He knew that we could not have faith, for it would only lead us to sin.
So where does this leave us? Pretty damn greatful i reckon...Our faith, our salvation is PURELY because of Him.. He took mercy on the elect, because not one of us chose Him...not one..we are all entirely wretched..but He wants us.
Also, how often do we demand reasons of God..?
How did i get here? Why are You doing this? fair question...we feel like we deserve to knoww..its our life, we should know why these terrible things happen to us and the people we love..i have realised that in this i'm pretty wrong too..I have no right, whatsoeverrr to ask for the reasoning behind things of the God of this universe..
i have also learnt to be thankful that God is God and He is in control and i am not, because if i was we would be neck deep in crap..
Daniel 4:35 "all the people of the earth are nothing, He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of this earth...no one can hold back His hand and say 'what are You doing?'"
We have severe control issues...submission is a tainted word..i always try to tell God what to do..I tell Him what would make me happy and what He should take away from my life. I act as though God is here to serve me!Are you kiddddinggg me!!?!? I look at the huuuugeee ungodly mess i managed to make of my life and how i looked up to God like a pig in shit, absolutely loving wallowing in filth and was like looookkk what i diiidddd.ha....I am nothing but thankful that i have finally submitted to God's will..i want what He wants for me, because i know, for a fact, that it is what is best for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 "'for I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
do you get it? i cannot count how many times i have heard that verse..and we forget that the Bible is TRUTH!! it is true..this is a fact...
I have been reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, which has inspiried most of these thoughts and by the grace of God i am able to share them! but he challenges us in times of worry and states that when we worry its like telling God; ok, i know that You have a fantastic, unreal plans for my life, plans to make me happier than I ever thought possible and plans to give me the mind of Christ but...just incase something is out of Your control, or You don't actually know best, i've got a wee back up plan because somehow(!!!!) i reckon it'll be better than these plans that You have...comee onnn!!!And when we stress out about something, as i so often do..it implies that God's timing is not right..although He is outside of time, and is not held my the parameters of it, He's wrong..our time scale is betterr..and God sure better make sure that he sticks to it eh?hahaa...oh boy..
So to sum upp...Why am i constantly not face down in the dirt in praise and humility; that we are truely wretched but God loves us..and not only loves us, as if that isnt enough, He planned our lives so that we will be conformed to the image of Christ and that we will be happy!! No matter what we cling too, no matter how often we try to prove to God that we know what is best for us. He will take it from you. Be sure of that..there is no point in trying to fight God on something..or kid ourselves that it is really in His will because He will have his will...in Acts 5, Gamaliel; a Pharisee warns the Sanhedrin.."if it is of God, we will not be able to stop these men.." and its still true today..God has taken people and things from me because i though i knew best, i thought i needed them..but all i need is Him...and He has far better things for me than anything i could orchestrate. His love saves us into glory...
2. I realised last night i have been given the gift of joyy..and its just amazing..We were talking about Phillipians at reconnect and Travis was speaking and he has the gift of joy and the things he said were very similar to my thoughts so i realised i too have itt...since i've been here anyway..Joy is based on truth!! God's truth...and i used to base my joy on wordly truths that other people spoke about me, i let them steal my joy and i made it about me..but now i know God's truth about me and i could care less what people think about me..
The first truth which brings joy is i am a child of God..i have really begun to grasp that concept and its glorious!!!(Romans 8:16-17)
And secondly, I am forgiven...I reallyyyy realllyyyy struggled with thiss..I did not feel that i deserved forgiveness because i knew at the time of the things that i did that i was doing wrong, so how could i be deserving of forgiveness? I could not let myself feel remorse which is required in repentance. I then began to believe the lie that i therefore must not be one of the elect, God had not chosen me for His kingdom because i was not convicted of my sins..However after several hours of wallowing in this, i realised it was a lie..and as soon as i announced in my head that it was a lie..it lifted and it seemed farcical that i had even believed it in the first place.
i began to pray for remorse, that God would have the grace to break my heart for the things i had done. And He did. Last thursday night during Mosaic, Don was talking about how God does not care about our works but about our hearts..and how far we have fallen and how misguided we are in thinking that we have truely given him everything...we are called to works in obedience but it should come from a want, a whole hearted devotion to the Master that we want to act upon our faith. we should have given our whole heart to God, which i have not, and am solemnly working on.. I have given more of my heart to someone who did not deserve it, and through manipulation owned that large piece entirely, i had also given other peices of my heart to multiple other people who were no good for me. I realised i needed God's forgiveness for this also...I wanted God to have my whole heartt...and i am giving it to Him, as He teaches me..and so i began to feel remorse, but it was only the beginning. whatever it was, i could not lift my head in the meeting..this feeling lingered untill Sunday night but it was still not full remorse for the things i had done, i still admitted that i could probably do these things again with out conviction.
then on sunday night at the AWE service Don was talking about expectations and after that we have a service at New Grounds...during the worship which the OTW team where leading, and it was amazinggg, Josh had a word that God wanted to say that it is forgiven and forgotten..and He loves you..hahaaaa well i was pretty swiftly filled with remorsee..i was sorryy..i cried and told God how sorry i was, how sorry that Jesus had to take that punishment for me..felt like he was sayingg.."now do you hear Me???" i was embarrassedddd that it had taken for it to be announced for me to believe ittt..i was mortified in my distrust of Gods word and i told Him that too...
After that i immediatly knew and felt that i was forgiven. i realised i had been expecting a long period of remorsee, in which God would crush me..but I have learnt that that is not biblical forgiveness...I don't need to feel bad for an extented period of time, i do not need to do prenance that way because it wouldnt be good enough anyway...when i understood that there is NO WAY i could earn God's love or forgiveness...i realised the depth of my debt to Him and i truely began to fall in love with Him.
So in these things i have been given the gift of joy...and with it comes a need for patience because i get frustrated when people complain and are not joyful but i have to realise they have other giftss which i lack..
I am full of joy knowing that there is nothing i can do or say that is good, yet i am created, forgiven, chosen, redeemed and treasured...AMEN!
Phillipians was written when Paul was in jail..the man was in prison, in a cell...and he was joyfull, he looked at the oppurtunites!he witnessed to his gaurd and the people who came to see him...he was truely joyfull..what right do we think we have to be moody?being moody is manipulation, as Kellie said last night..we take on a bad mood to show the world that we aren't happy and that we want it to change...many times we hurt people and twist there arm into doing something because we are moody...We are either joy stealers or joy givers...
today we smelt a skunk..it was disgusting...its not like i went up to it and yanked the things tail above its head and sniffed its butt..when one sprays anywhere near you can smell it!foulll...(slipped that in there didn't i...haa)
1. Who the flip do i think i am??
I have nothing to give to God...there's not one thing in me which is attractive to Him. If i think i am saved by my works i am sadly mistaken, if i think that my faith in God is my own creation i am fooled.. There is nothing good in me, there is nothing for me to boast in. Even our faith in God as Saviour, the one good thing about us, is from God.
Ephesians 2:8-9 "for it is by grace you have been saved through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works so that no one can boast."
Funny how well God knows us...He knew that we could not have faith, for it would only lead us to sin.
So where does this leave us? Pretty damn greatful i reckon...Our faith, our salvation is PURELY because of Him.. He took mercy on the elect, because not one of us chose Him...not one..we are all entirely wretched..but He wants us.
Also, how often do we demand reasons of God..?
How did i get here? Why are You doing this? fair question...we feel like we deserve to knoww..its our life, we should know why these terrible things happen to us and the people we love..i have realised that in this i'm pretty wrong too..I have no right, whatsoeverrr to ask for the reasoning behind things of the God of this universe..
i have also learnt to be thankful that God is God and He is in control and i am not, because if i was we would be neck deep in crap..
Daniel 4:35 "all the people of the earth are nothing, He does as He pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of this earth...no one can hold back His hand and say 'what are You doing?'"
We have severe control issues...submission is a tainted word..i always try to tell God what to do..I tell Him what would make me happy and what He should take away from my life. I act as though God is here to serve me!Are you kiddddinggg me!!?!? I look at the huuuugeee ungodly mess i managed to make of my life and how i looked up to God like a pig in shit, absolutely loving wallowing in filth and was like looookkk what i diiidddd.ha....I am nothing but thankful that i have finally submitted to God's will..i want what He wants for me, because i know, for a fact, that it is what is best for me.
Jeremiah 29:11 "'for I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
do you get it? i cannot count how many times i have heard that verse..and we forget that the Bible is TRUTH!! it is true..this is a fact...
I have been reading Francis Chan's book Crazy Love, which has inspiried most of these thoughts and by the grace of God i am able to share them! but he challenges us in times of worry and states that when we worry its like telling God; ok, i know that You have a fantastic, unreal plans for my life, plans to make me happier than I ever thought possible and plans to give me the mind of Christ but...just incase something is out of Your control, or You don't actually know best, i've got a wee back up plan because somehow(!!!!) i reckon it'll be better than these plans that You have...comee onnn!!!And when we stress out about something, as i so often do..it implies that God's timing is not right..although He is outside of time, and is not held my the parameters of it, He's wrong..our time scale is betterr..and God sure better make sure that he sticks to it eh?hahaa...oh boy..
So to sum upp...Why am i constantly not face down in the dirt in praise and humility; that we are truely wretched but God loves us..and not only loves us, as if that isnt enough, He planned our lives so that we will be conformed to the image of Christ and that we will be happy!! No matter what we cling too, no matter how often we try to prove to God that we know what is best for us. He will take it from you. Be sure of that..there is no point in trying to fight God on something..or kid ourselves that it is really in His will because He will have his will...in Acts 5, Gamaliel; a Pharisee warns the Sanhedrin.."if it is of God, we will not be able to stop these men.." and its still true today..God has taken people and things from me because i though i knew best, i thought i needed them..but all i need is Him...and He has far better things for me than anything i could orchestrate. His love saves us into glory...
2. I realised last night i have been given the gift of joyy..and its just amazing..We were talking about Phillipians at reconnect and Travis was speaking and he has the gift of joy and the things he said were very similar to my thoughts so i realised i too have itt...since i've been here anyway..Joy is based on truth!! God's truth...and i used to base my joy on wordly truths that other people spoke about me, i let them steal my joy and i made it about me..but now i know God's truth about me and i could care less what people think about me..
The first truth which brings joy is i am a child of God..i have really begun to grasp that concept and its glorious!!!(Romans 8:16-17)
And secondly, I am forgiven...I reallyyyy realllyyyy struggled with thiss..I did not feel that i deserved forgiveness because i knew at the time of the things that i did that i was doing wrong, so how could i be deserving of forgiveness? I could not let myself feel remorse which is required in repentance. I then began to believe the lie that i therefore must not be one of the elect, God had not chosen me for His kingdom because i was not convicted of my sins..However after several hours of wallowing in this, i realised it was a lie..and as soon as i announced in my head that it was a lie..it lifted and it seemed farcical that i had even believed it in the first place.
i began to pray for remorse, that God would have the grace to break my heart for the things i had done. And He did. Last thursday night during Mosaic, Don was talking about how God does not care about our works but about our hearts..and how far we have fallen and how misguided we are in thinking that we have truely given him everything...we are called to works in obedience but it should come from a want, a whole hearted devotion to the Master that we want to act upon our faith. we should have given our whole heart to God, which i have not, and am solemnly working on.. I have given more of my heart to someone who did not deserve it, and through manipulation owned that large piece entirely, i had also given other peices of my heart to multiple other people who were no good for me. I realised i needed God's forgiveness for this also...I wanted God to have my whole heartt...and i am giving it to Him, as He teaches me..and so i began to feel remorse, but it was only the beginning. whatever it was, i could not lift my head in the meeting..this feeling lingered untill Sunday night but it was still not full remorse for the things i had done, i still admitted that i could probably do these things again with out conviction.
then on sunday night at the AWE service Don was talking about expectations and after that we have a service at New Grounds...during the worship which the OTW team where leading, and it was amazinggg, Josh had a word that God wanted to say that it is forgiven and forgotten..and He loves you..hahaaaa well i was pretty swiftly filled with remorsee..i was sorryy..i cried and told God how sorry i was, how sorry that Jesus had to take that punishment for me..felt like he was sayingg.."now do you hear Me???" i was embarrassedddd that it had taken for it to be announced for me to believe ittt..i was mortified in my distrust of Gods word and i told Him that too...
After that i immediatly knew and felt that i was forgiven. i realised i had been expecting a long period of remorsee, in which God would crush me..but I have learnt that that is not biblical forgiveness...I don't need to feel bad for an extented period of time, i do not need to do prenance that way because it wouldnt be good enough anyway...when i understood that there is NO WAY i could earn God's love or forgiveness...i realised the depth of my debt to Him and i truely began to fall in love with Him.
So in these things i have been given the gift of joy...and with it comes a need for patience because i get frustrated when people complain and are not joyful but i have to realise they have other giftss which i lack..
I am full of joy knowing that there is nothing i can do or say that is good, yet i am created, forgiven, chosen, redeemed and treasured...AMEN!
Phillipians was written when Paul was in jail..the man was in prison, in a cell...and he was joyfull, he looked at the oppurtunites!he witnessed to his gaurd and the people who came to see him...he was truely joyfull..what right do we think we have to be moody?being moody is manipulation, as Kellie said last night..we take on a bad mood to show the world that we aren't happy and that we want it to change...many times we hurt people and twist there arm into doing something because we are moody...We are either joy stealers or joy givers...
today we smelt a skunk..it was disgusting...its not like i went up to it and yanked the things tail above its head and sniffed its butt..when one sprays anywhere near you can smell it!foulll...(slipped that in there didn't i...haa)
if you get a chance listen to this song
Thursday 10 February 2011
woahh
projectss
soo...i rewrote 1 Corinthians 13 for my project on love and wrote it out on canvas so i'll put a picture up asap...and prob one of the joy one too..i am very happyyy with itt...i really did not want to do this project cause me and love have some bones to pick but i figured i can't really go wrong with the bibles description...
if i could speak to the amazonian tribes; understand their clicks and whistles but was too proud to show respect toward their culture i may as well be a foghorn sounding on a ship far from the atlantic coast
if i could tell you of God's glorious plan for your life and explain the pain and suffering in your past but did not have the patience to help you grasp these details, i may as well be a gypsy tea reader feeding you fantasies of a tall dark stranger
if i had the cure for AIDS but did not have kindness or goodness in my heart, i would be in the same place as King Lear when he proclaimed with agony 'i am nothing'
if i let a homeless family have my house, my possessions and my bank account, moved to communist laos for missionary work and was martyred but boasted about my self sacrifice it would give no glory to God
love is accepting that people struggle and waiting for them to have victory in Jesus Christ
love is not just creating a world and people in it, but giving those people eyes and a sunrise to adore, taste to see that the Lord is good, a nose to smell, flowers with scent and coffee beans with aroma's, touch to hold a new born baby or shake the hand of a cancer patient and ears to hear the symphony of life..if music be the food of love..play on
love does not wish to be better than the beloved, love will do anything to help the beloved be better
love does not brag about how devoted it is
love does not parade relationships or name drop, love is humble in the privilege of friendships
love never makes someone the butt of a crude joke, never eats with its mouth open or urinates in public
love gives up its seat on the bus no matter how long the journey is, and talks to the smelly kid
you can poke love many times in the ribs before it will break your fingers
love is writing the wrongs committed against you on toilet paper, using it and then flushing it
love does not delight in one night stands, violent video games, getting wasted, or eating all of the chocolate
love rejoices in knowing that the cherubim sing when we are saved, a human man, the incarnation of Christ, sweat very drops of blood in fear of taking our punishment and did it anyway and one day i'll meet Peter, the rock of the church
love is is standing in defense of your best friend against a snake, making sure everyone is wearing sun cream and facing the bully head on
love trusts unfailingly where trust is built; despite rumours, malicious words and trying behaviour
love believes in the pure in the prostitute, the peace in the kid with attention deficit disorder, and hope for the car crash victim
love will never give up on the drug addict who just can't quit, because one day, they will, love will not give up on the alcoholic no matter if they cannot go one minute with out a stiff drink, love will not give up on the abuser no matter how many times they lose their temper
love never fails
if i could tell you of God's glorious plan for your life and explain the pain and suffering in your past but did not have the patience to help you grasp these details, i may as well be a gypsy tea reader feeding you fantasies of a tall dark stranger
if i had the cure for AIDS but did not have kindness or goodness in my heart, i would be in the same place as King Lear when he proclaimed with agony 'i am nothing'
if i let a homeless family have my house, my possessions and my bank account, moved to communist laos for missionary work and was martyred but boasted about my self sacrifice it would give no glory to God
love is accepting that people struggle and waiting for them to have victory in Jesus Christ
love is not just creating a world and people in it, but giving those people eyes and a sunrise to adore, taste to see that the Lord is good, a nose to smell, flowers with scent and coffee beans with aroma's, touch to hold a new born baby or shake the hand of a cancer patient and ears to hear the symphony of life..if music be the food of love..play on
love does not wish to be better than the beloved, love will do anything to help the beloved be better
love does not brag about how devoted it is
love does not parade relationships or name drop, love is humble in the privilege of friendships
love never makes someone the butt of a crude joke, never eats with its mouth open or urinates in public
love gives up its seat on the bus no matter how long the journey is, and talks to the smelly kid
you can poke love many times in the ribs before it will break your fingers
love is writing the wrongs committed against you on toilet paper, using it and then flushing it
love does not delight in one night stands, violent video games, getting wasted, or eating all of the chocolate
love rejoices in knowing that the cherubim sing when we are saved, a human man, the incarnation of Christ, sweat very drops of blood in fear of taking our punishment and did it anyway and one day i'll meet Peter, the rock of the church
love is is standing in defense of your best friend against a snake, making sure everyone is wearing sun cream and facing the bully head on
love trusts unfailingly where trust is built; despite rumours, malicious words and trying behaviour
love believes in the pure in the prostitute, the peace in the kid with attention deficit disorder, and hope for the car crash victim
love will never give up on the drug addict who just can't quit, because one day, they will, love will not give up on the alcoholic no matter if they cannot go one minute with out a stiff drink, love will not give up on the abuser no matter how many times they lose their temper
love never fails
Tuesday 8 February 2011
victoryy
and as He stands in victory sins curse has lost its grip on me..for i am His and He is mine bought with the precious blood of Christ
vic·to·ry (v
k
t
-r
)
vic·to·ry (v
kt-r) n. pl. vic·to·ries
1. Defeat of an enemy or opponent.
2. Success in a struggle against difficulties or an obstacle.
3. The state of having triumphed.
Monday 7 February 2011
two weeks since i got here woah
two weeks today pretty scarey..prettty addicted to penut butter m&ms alreadyy..
last night was the superbowll..was pretty funny..and good to be a part offf..GO TEAM!
So this morning had my wee time in Daily Grind whilst Tina and Jill were in their meeting..and its even in little things, that God is pushing me to grow. Sitting by myself in a coffee shop would be like my worst nightmare..i would totally panic about what everyone was thinking about me but its daft cause they aren't..so i just needa get over thatt and God is pushing me to do it..
forgot to mention in my post with the lyrics from the Ryan Griffith song that its Psalm 46:1..Gotta always back these things up you know..
also was funny how i was talking about praying for stuff but wanting it on my terms and then in sunday school (which isnt like sunday school at home, its more like a class thing and theres loads of different ones..we go to 'young adults') Don was talking about Esther, and how for the second time she had to go to the king and ask for him to do something for his people. First of all when she talks about going to him she says "if it pleases the king..and if he regards me with favour and if he thinks it is the right thing to do" (8v5) Even though the king in this story isnt a particularly great guy she still respects his ultimate authority over the situation..which is what we have to doo..but also in our case he will definatly know whats best..thats a promise.
So once a week i meet with Tina and Jill to like talk about everythingg...and today they gave me three projectss...Firstly, to forgive myself for everythingg..which could be interestingg..nexxtt is that i have to like something creative and they're gonna give me a word to dooo it on each week so like a painting or a drawingg..and the word they gave me this week is love..LOVE!i am so madddddd...i dont want to think about love at all...elsihmrciuugntrvfuweeiourn..so might try do one now when im angry about love and then one at the end of the week when i hopefully will feel better about it..i might put pictures up depending on how i feel abooutt it..anyway im mad..also third is i have to find my biblical name, that like God calls mee..and also my life versee..which i think i might alreadyy know but it may change upon reflectionn..
then our meeting got a little emotional and i realisedd i'd given certain people bits of my heart that were not meant for themm..so i'm taking them back and moving on and this time i really honestly mean itttt....i do not want to feel like this anymore and i do not want to want this friendship so its overrr and i am changingggg..moving on this time for real and i mean it..!!Isaiahh 43:18 I am doing a new thingg...God is doing a new thing in me..i am going to be dependant only on him.....starting now.go...
this is like the third time i've edited thiss..forgot to mention that i'm still finding joy in everything :) i will not be robbed off itt..even if all God ever did for us, was give Jesus' life instead of ourrs, and He never did one other thing for uss, then we would still have cause to be joyfull...but He even does more than thatt!!
last night was the superbowll..was pretty funny..and good to be a part offf..GO TEAM!
So this morning had my wee time in Daily Grind whilst Tina and Jill were in their meeting..and its even in little things, that God is pushing me to grow. Sitting by myself in a coffee shop would be like my worst nightmare..i would totally panic about what everyone was thinking about me but its daft cause they aren't..so i just needa get over thatt and God is pushing me to do it..
forgot to mention in my post with the lyrics from the Ryan Griffith song that its Psalm 46:1..Gotta always back these things up you know..
also was funny how i was talking about praying for stuff but wanting it on my terms and then in sunday school (which isnt like sunday school at home, its more like a class thing and theres loads of different ones..we go to 'young adults') Don was talking about Esther, and how for the second time she had to go to the king and ask for him to do something for his people. First of all when she talks about going to him she says "if it pleases the king..and if he regards me with favour and if he thinks it is the right thing to do" (8v5) Even though the king in this story isnt a particularly great guy she still respects his ultimate authority over the situation..which is what we have to doo..but also in our case he will definatly know whats best..thats a promise.
So once a week i meet with Tina and Jill to like talk about everythingg...and today they gave me three projectss...Firstly, to forgive myself for everythingg..which could be interestingg..nexxtt is that i have to like something creative and they're gonna give me a word to dooo it on each week so like a painting or a drawingg..and the word they gave me this week is love..LOVE!i am so madddddd...i dont want to think about love at all...elsihmrciuugntrvfuweeiourn..so might try do one now when im angry about love and then one at the end of the week when i hopefully will feel better about it..i might put pictures up depending on how i feel abooutt it..anyway im mad..also third is i have to find my biblical name, that like God calls mee..and also my life versee..which i think i might alreadyy know but it may change upon reflectionn..
then our meeting got a little emotional and i realisedd i'd given certain people bits of my heart that were not meant for themm..so i'm taking them back and moving on and this time i really honestly mean itttt....i do not want to feel like this anymore and i do not want to want this friendship so its overrr and i am changingggg..moving on this time for real and i mean it..!!Isaiahh 43:18 I am doing a new thingg...God is doing a new thing in me..i am going to be dependant only on him.....starting now.go...
this is like the third time i've edited thiss..forgot to mention that i'm still finding joy in everything :) i will not be robbed off itt..even if all God ever did for us, was give Jesus' life instead of ourrs, and He never did one other thing for uss, then we would still have cause to be joyfull...but He even does more than thatt!!
Sunday 6 February 2011
words from one of jillys fav songs i likeee...
"You are life more beautiful
You are love more powerful
You are the light that always shines
You are the one..
You came my darkness
You came in my night
You came without warning
You came to my side
You are the song i gotta sing
You are here and You are everything
i will never move on from You.."
bit cheesy and i edited a little and also tempting to sing about boys but def about God :)
"You are life more beautiful
You are love more powerful
You are the light that always shines
You are the one..
You came my darkness
You came in my night
You came without warning
You came to my side
You are the song i gotta sing
You are here and You are everything
i will never move on from You.."
bit cheesy and i edited a little and also tempting to sing about boys but def about God :)
Saturday 5 February 2011
fears are stilled and strivings ceasee...
Beenn quite mellow past two days..Yesturday we went to pray with the youth from the church who have started praying in the mornings in the foyer of their school, like they just stand in a circle and pray and everyone walks in past them!It was really inspiring to me because i'm not sure if even now, when my faith is the strongest it has ever been, i could do that in a school or my uni..i would be terrified..but they dont care!!If anything they want people to notice them so they get a chance to talk to them about itt..i think its crazyy..really challenged me..
Then in the afternoon we had to film some stuff for an Off The Wall promo videoo..it was absolutely hilariouss..Don, who is like the excecutive director of the ministry is hysterical. Ahh it was so funnyy..I had to say like why i was there and stuff and what it meant to mee..And i hadnt actually really thought about it properly but when i had to actually voice it in a sentance it was quite nice.. I said i was there because i felt really broken from some bad relationships and situations and just need time away to heal and grow in God..Thenn i was asked what the dicipleship meant so far to me and how the community which Off The Wall offers is different from the one at home, and i explained how I felt that in some Christian circles it felt like people wanted to always be happier that you and do better and know more about God and have better relationships and they just constantly want to prove this and its so destructive because you're just left feeling completely beaten up..But here, like i've explained already, these people want the best for you, they want you to grow in your relationship with God, if anything they want you to be better that them..I forgot to mention, and i wish i had, how it was an atmosphere of love; patricularly living in a house with 5 other girls..theres no tension or cattiness its just peaceful. Having Jill and Tina about has meant alot too..
And then last night we went out for dinner all six of us..which was nice, i was thoughtful so just kinda sat back and listened it was really nice
This morning we went for breakfast with Tina's sister Rita who is freakin hilarious..Tina and her together are just soo funny..i laughed a whole lot..then we went to see some puppies and you can just pick them up and cuddle them and i didnt want to put them back it was really saddd :(
Then just came home and i was writing alot and reading and then my devotional today was about something which has been on my mind past two days, funny when that happens..But it was about Zechariah 5 and how the he saw that someone was measuring out Isreal to build walls around it and God told him not to let walls be built, that He would protect the city and its people withh walls of fire..
Hit me like a slap in the facee..Been realising that i've developed a real bitterness and lack of trust towards people..From when i've been hurtt, when false things have been spoken about me and people have believed it and also when i've done things wrong, which happens often enough, and most of the times..the only people who have stood by me have been my non christian friends at home..they have forgiven me in an instance and never said a negative word against me..they openly defend me, which amazes mee..So i guess i'm realising alot more hurt..but also that its preventing me from making and enjoying relationships because i don't trust people. But then when I read Zechariah 5, and how the people of Isreal were scared of being hurtt so they wanted to build a freakin huge wall..but God didnt want that and he doesnt want it for me either..Then was listening to a song by Ryan Griffith called Refugee..and its along the same lines:
"God is our refuge and our strength,
An ever present help.
Therefore i shall not fear..
Though the earth gives way and mountains fall
Though its waters rise and my world may shake..
Our God is the shelter in the strom
Our God is the one who wont let go..
Our god..he remains the same.."
This past two years my earth has fully given way and everythings been shaken up with relationships and it has made me really sacred. But God will not change, He will not let me go and He is my refuge!
So this weeks been about dealing some old hurts which is funny cause i've been reading a book on deliverance as well.
I've really been praying for like one particular realtionship and i've been like ok right God if you can just do this or change this or if you could make this happen or remove these feelings and its so stupid cause what i want is probably completely the wrong thing so just had to pray that His will will be done in everything..cause He knows best..Even though these things are hard and i've been thinking alot I havent been sad..still managing to find the joy!!
Also learning the beauty of just chilling ouutt..Psalm 46:10.. "...be still and know that I am God.." abso lushhh :)
Then in the afternoon we had to film some stuff for an Off The Wall promo videoo..it was absolutely hilariouss..Don, who is like the excecutive director of the ministry is hysterical. Ahh it was so funnyy..I had to say like why i was there and stuff and what it meant to mee..And i hadnt actually really thought about it properly but when i had to actually voice it in a sentance it was quite nice.. I said i was there because i felt really broken from some bad relationships and situations and just need time away to heal and grow in God..Thenn i was asked what the dicipleship meant so far to me and how the community which Off The Wall offers is different from the one at home, and i explained how I felt that in some Christian circles it felt like people wanted to always be happier that you and do better and know more about God and have better relationships and they just constantly want to prove this and its so destructive because you're just left feeling completely beaten up..But here, like i've explained already, these people want the best for you, they want you to grow in your relationship with God, if anything they want you to be better that them..I forgot to mention, and i wish i had, how it was an atmosphere of love; patricularly living in a house with 5 other girls..theres no tension or cattiness its just peaceful. Having Jill and Tina about has meant alot too..
And then last night we went out for dinner all six of us..which was nice, i was thoughtful so just kinda sat back and listened it was really nice
This morning we went for breakfast with Tina's sister Rita who is freakin hilarious..Tina and her together are just soo funny..i laughed a whole lot..then we went to see some puppies and you can just pick them up and cuddle them and i didnt want to put them back it was really saddd :(
Then just came home and i was writing alot and reading and then my devotional today was about something which has been on my mind past two days, funny when that happens..But it was about Zechariah 5 and how the he saw that someone was measuring out Isreal to build walls around it and God told him not to let walls be built, that He would protect the city and its people withh walls of fire..
Hit me like a slap in the facee..Been realising that i've developed a real bitterness and lack of trust towards people..From when i've been hurtt, when false things have been spoken about me and people have believed it and also when i've done things wrong, which happens often enough, and most of the times..the only people who have stood by me have been my non christian friends at home..they have forgiven me in an instance and never said a negative word against me..they openly defend me, which amazes mee..So i guess i'm realising alot more hurt..but also that its preventing me from making and enjoying relationships because i don't trust people. But then when I read Zechariah 5, and how the people of Isreal were scared of being hurtt so they wanted to build a freakin huge wall..but God didnt want that and he doesnt want it for me either..Then was listening to a song by Ryan Griffith called Refugee..and its along the same lines:
"God is our refuge and our strength,
An ever present help.
Therefore i shall not fear..
Though the earth gives way and mountains fall
Though its waters rise and my world may shake..
Our God is the shelter in the strom
Our God is the one who wont let go..
Our god..he remains the same.."
This past two years my earth has fully given way and everythings been shaken up with relationships and it has made me really sacred. But God will not change, He will not let me go and He is my refuge!
So this weeks been about dealing some old hurts which is funny cause i've been reading a book on deliverance as well.
I've really been praying for like one particular realtionship and i've been like ok right God if you can just do this or change this or if you could make this happen or remove these feelings and its so stupid cause what i want is probably completely the wrong thing so just had to pray that His will will be done in everything..cause He knows best..Even though these things are hard and i've been thinking alot I havent been sad..still managing to find the joy!!
Also learning the beauty of just chilling ouutt..Psalm 46:10.. "...be still and know that I am God.." abso lushhh :)
Thursday 3 February 2011
some photo's from snow camppp
Wednesday 2 February 2011
wow.
Healing is happening..i am so shocked its not even reall..literally sat with my mouth open for about half an hourr..I am so happyy..God is good..If your readingg thiss then i also apologise for the cheese...Tonight God mended a broken friendship..One that i had all but given up hope on..I am very happy..God wants us to be happy!!HELLAAA-YESSS..thank you :)
Also we haven an ice storm here and everything is covered in like an inch of ice, its the weirdest thing ever..
Ohhh happinessss..there's grace enough for us and the whooolee human racee
Also we haven an ice storm here and everything is covered in like an inch of ice, its the weirdest thing ever..
Ohhh happinessss..there's grace enough for us and the whooolee human racee
Tuesday 1 February 2011
first successful cup of tea
just made a cup of tea which actually tasted like proper teaa..the other day we bought a kettle from this place that sells stuff cheap cause the boxes are damaged..an Amish girl served us there!!so the kettle helped..happyy..
Think I've finally recovered from snow camp in New York..it was soo funny..On the friday night we went rollerskating and i have actually never laughed so hard in my life..Jill was secretly good at it!!But me and Tina were shocking..but it was so funny..At one point on Saturday donuts were being launched from huge catupults..And the boys from the youth group dressed up as amish women and wore coffee filters on there heads for bonnets..hilarious.Although perhaps the message being preached was slightly turn or burn it was effective and alot of our kids decieded they wanted to make good descisions in Christ it was very emotional..I was so nervous about going cause i'd only met one girl from the youth group but they were all so lovely, such a blessing..
Yesturday morning i was really sadd, it was dan's birthday and it was sad not to be in Leeds for it and also upset about relationships from home and just regrets..but we went to Daily Grind and while Tina and Jill where in the leadership meeting i just sat and read and i felt so much better after itt..And then Travis talked a little about it in the staff meeting about Joy, and how you have to find joy in everything cause so much of it is out of our control so it makes no sense to sit in despairr..Learning alot about Joy in Christtt..i love ittt!!!!Realising that i just have to claim it..
The three books i'm reading right now are all quite linked which is nice, Redeeming Love, The Grace Exchange and Romans are all about how no matter what we do God will love us just the same. and also Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." We actually looked at this verse last week in Biblical Training..its very reassuring but alsooo when we were talking about it we realised that even when we make mistakes..as we often do..the God will use that for good!!Prettyy exciting i think...
So yea..meeting lots of people and still learning so much..feel like there is alot to take it and its a little over whelming but its good..its so healing and encouraging..i love it..already dreading going back to Leeds!!!3 months is not long enoughhh..
Think I've finally recovered from snow camp in New York..it was soo funny..On the friday night we went rollerskating and i have actually never laughed so hard in my life..Jill was secretly good at it!!But me and Tina were shocking..but it was so funny..At one point on Saturday donuts were being launched from huge catupults..And the boys from the youth group dressed up as amish women and wore coffee filters on there heads for bonnets..hilarious.Although perhaps the message being preached was slightly turn or burn it was effective and alot of our kids decieded they wanted to make good descisions in Christ it was very emotional..I was so nervous about going cause i'd only met one girl from the youth group but they were all so lovely, such a blessing..
Yesturday morning i was really sadd, it was dan's birthday and it was sad not to be in Leeds for it and also upset about relationships from home and just regrets..but we went to Daily Grind and while Tina and Jill where in the leadership meeting i just sat and read and i felt so much better after itt..And then Travis talked a little about it in the staff meeting about Joy, and how you have to find joy in everything cause so much of it is out of our control so it makes no sense to sit in despairr..Learning alot about Joy in Christtt..i love ittt!!!!Realising that i just have to claim it..
The three books i'm reading right now are all quite linked which is nice, Redeeming Love, The Grace Exchange and Romans are all about how no matter what we do God will love us just the same. and also Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him." We actually looked at this verse last week in Biblical Training..its very reassuring but alsooo when we were talking about it we realised that even when we make mistakes..as we often do..the God will use that for good!!Prettyy exciting i think...
So yea..meeting lots of people and still learning so much..feel like there is alot to take it and its a little over whelming but its good..its so healing and encouraging..i love it..already dreading going back to Leeds!!!3 months is not long enoughhh..
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