i'm running to Your arms

apologies for lack of blogs..had such a hectic week..
Had my birthday last tuesday, which was goodd, as usual when you spend birthdays away from home i was a little sad..missing my lovely mum :( but she sent me a card which arrived on tuesday night so that was sweeeettt..Also was thinking about how much this year has changed me...it's been the year i have been furthest from God and now the closest to God i have ever been..and i think that it was getting so far from God, realising just how much i need Him, which made has made me take refuge entirely in Him..

Then we were away in Michigan for the weekend, left on thursday night and drove for 6 hours then stayed in a hotel, then another hour and a half in the morning to get to the camp where Don and Trav where speaking and Polen were playing..That was interestingg..veryyy funny as usual..

some of my thoughttsss this weekk...hmm..i had a writing project for Jill and Tina this week, had to write about what it was like/what it meant to fall in love with Jesus so maybs i'll share that with you, it was nice to be able to put it on paper, for my creative journal last week i also wrote a love letter to Jesus..which was good but trying, particularly cause last Sunday night my heart hurtt but it was good to do itt..

falling in love with Jesus....its like a breath of fresh air..when you breathe in so deep it hurts your lungs (sidenote if you've never done this, do it!) but you don't want to stop...its joy and peace in abundance and i want everyone to get it..There's no jealousy toward people who have got it more, only admiration. I used to feel bitterness and jealousy and enjoy it festering inside of me but now i hate that i feel those things, even toward people who have hurt me, i want to love them! The people who haven't got it, i want them to, sooo bad and i know the only way i can show it to them is by being as Jesus like as my sinful flesh allows me. the more i trade in bitterness, mistrust, control and anger the more i get back love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and self control..

haa..I just want all of God..i want to know Him, not just know about Him!theres a big difference you seeee...!!!In the Bible, in Genesis, when it talks about Adam and Eve it says in literal translation, Adam knew Eve..this is actually translated to Adam lay with Eve...it was an intimate relationship...this is what the Bible means when it calls us to know God and that God knows us..its intimate..he knows all of us..and WANTS TO!when i think about the people i love, i want to know how their days been, what they've been doing, what makes them sad and what makes them laugh..Its the same for God about us, and should be the same for us about God..God wants all of us..He wants to know how our day wentt..what made us happy and why..There's an analogy like think of the children that you know, babysit or relatives, young children that tell you all about their day and their thoughts, and even though you know what they did, or you know their thoughts are ridiculous..you love hearing it..!its the same with God, he knows us all, he knows us better than we know ourselves but he still likes hearing about it..there is no point in hiding our weaknesses from God..we should be barefaced in front of him because he loves us, he wants to know and he wants to help...and we should show our weaknesses to the worldd..because through that they see God's strength and glory...if the world see's christians as these perfect people, then they will think well of course God loves them...but when we show how we struggle with sin and temptation...but God still loves us, and makes us whole..they see his character..

also been reading in Habakkuk, and listening to some podcasts on it by Matt Chandlerr..i recommend them, Travis put one on yesterday on our drive home and i loved it and they're free..But basically Habakkuk is really mad a God, cause God is using the ungodly Chaldeans, to punish the people of Judah who were also ungodly..and basically Habakkuk doesn't get it at all..he's questioning God..Chandler was saying how its ok to question God, He will do things in our lives that we will not understand but as long as we do it from the right position, knowing that he is our creator and we are vastly below himm..and sometimes, if its right, God will show us why, but often he'll have us wait, to strengthen our faith and in the end we'll realise that he was totally right..and we'll feel like idiots..ha

Also been thinking alot about 2 Corinthians 10v5 "and we take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." Been trying really hard to do this...i plan things out alot..because social interactions often make me nervous i plan them out in my headd..and we shouldn't do that, we should trust in God, and every small nasty thought, God hears it..so been working hard on holding every thought captive..its not too easy!

so yea..still learning and growing and loving...being filled with joy constantly...receiving so many encouraging emails from lovely people..am very thankful that God can use me in this way, and i hope and trust that he is glorified in every thing i do!