two weeks since i got here woah

two weeks today pretty scarey..prettty addicted to penut butter m&ms alreadyy..

last night was the superbowll..was pretty funny..and good to be a part offf..GO TEAM!

So this morning had my wee time in Daily Grind whilst Tina and Jill were in their meeting..and its even in little things, that God is pushing me to grow. Sitting by myself in a coffee shop would be like my worst nightmare..i would totally panic about what everyone was thinking about me but its daft cause they aren't..so i just needa get over thatt and God is pushing me to do it..

forgot to mention in my post with the lyrics from the Ryan Griffith song that its Psalm 46:1..Gotta always back these things up you know..

also was funny how i was talking about praying for stuff but wanting it on my terms and then in sunday school (which isnt like sunday school at home, its more like a class thing and theres loads of different ones..we go to 'young adults') Don was talking about Esther, and how for the second time she had to go to the king and ask for him to do something for his people. First of all when she talks about going to him she says "if it pleases the king..and if he regards me with favour and if he thinks it is the right thing to do" (8v5) Even though the king in this story isnt a particularly great guy she still respects his ultimate authority over the situation..which is what we have to doo..but also in our case he will definatly know whats best..thats a promise.

So once a week i meet with Tina and Jill to like talk about everythingg...and today they gave me three projectss...Firstly, to forgive myself for everythingg..which could be interestingg..nexxtt is that i have to like something creative and they're gonna give me a word to dooo it on each week so like a painting or a drawingg..and the word they gave me this week is love..LOVE!i am so madddddd...i dont want to think about love at all...elsihmrciuugntrvfuweeiourn..so might try do one now when im angry about love and then one at the end of the week when i hopefully will feel better about it..i might put pictures up depending on how i feel abooutt it..anyway im mad..also third is i have to find my biblical name, that like God calls mee..and also my life versee..which i think i might alreadyy know but it may change upon reflectionn..

then our meeting got a little emotional and i realisedd i'd given certain people bits of my heart that were not meant for themm..so i'm taking them back and moving on and this time i really honestly mean itttt....i do not want to feel like this anymore and i do not want to want this friendship so its overrr and i am changingggg..moving on this time for real and i mean it..!!Isaiahh 43:18 I am doing a new thingg...God is doing a new thing in me..i am going to be dependant only on him.....starting now.go...

this is like the third time i've edited thiss..forgot to mention that i'm still finding joy in everything :) i will not be robbed off itt..even if all God ever did for us, was give Jesus' life instead of ourrs, and He never did one other thing for uss, then we would still have cause to be joyfull...but He even does more than thatt!!