live like your alive

"..Father time steals our days like a thief

there's no price i wouldn't pay to get some relief

i have become the shadow of man

i cant begin to even understand

have i forgotten who i am?

come on and resurrect me.."

sometimes i forget i am a child of God..

we use the word God so much..but like a God!?THE GOD!

who created everything, sustains it all and animates it..who each morning actively chooses to wake me up..

his daughter...he has protected my heart...brought me joy and given me trials to make me better..encouraged me..written me love letters in Psalms..

in a relationship with someone who actually died for me, not a promise that if a bullet was fired he would take it..he actually has already died for me?!a bullet would have been a welcome substitute for how he did die! 

imagine if your best friend died for you right now.....thats how we should feel.

don't need much more proof than that

i am absolutely perfect cause God doesn't make mistakes,

when i do something wrong..God isn't like 

WHAT!HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED?!?

he's like.."ah yes...saw that coming like 92375345908345098245068203945719836495871934852456 years ago..s'alright though darling.."

And then Jesus says..."i got this soph, don't sweat it.."

i am an heiress to a kingdom that i fight for with my brothers and sisters daily

a warrior although it feels like all the armour is toooo heavy sometimes i know i only need to be on my knees, head bowed to fight.

some days i live like i'm dead..

but i am only dead to sin!

I AM ALIVE

my heart beats with fury when i acknowledge who i am in Christ

cause as Sophie Lennon..I'm not much..

sometimes i think i am but the spirit always gives me a cheeky slap and tells me to wind my neck in

but when i stand behind this huge wooden cross with nail holes and a sign above, covered in blood..

i am someone..

my hands and feet don't have holes

I've never been whipped or spat on..

but i have the capability for the same love..

i try to plan things

"Man plans, God laughs.."

I'm like a child tryna do a puzzle..i used to always force the pieces into the wrong holes and my sister would get so annoyed with me.

i was more concerned with the huge pile of pieces that still hadn't been put in place

she wanted the nice picture of Jane and Tarzan at the end..

i want just have it all done now

God is building the pretty picture that will come only at the very end, it cannot be rushed and smushing bits in anywhere will not help anything;

ok God I'm crap at patience and next year i finish uni and i don't know how to do what you want and I'm scared sometimes and i want kids so i need a husband NOW

and once again..God is not actually shocked by this.. "and your point isss......?"

surprisingly, he knows i finish uni next year...he knows i want kids and he knows that's probably when me and him will work on some patience...
if i look at my life, when i took control....i really dont understand why i haven't learnt my lesson!

oh we are so naive..