sometimes i literally shock my self at how sinful i am
a thought runs through my head and i just say it out loud
and immediately my conscience screams 'WHAT!'
i think we get a little arrogant as christians
we never say it out loud
but over time, we ask for forgiveness less and less
i am so lazy, and proud and selfish
i lie and i don't want to give up my popularity, what little of it there is left
this week i've asked God to remind me how fallen i am, and to do it gently
but also of how holy he is
he has
and it has been rough
i just think, how can a God, so infinitely perfect, so holy and so clean love me?
i have such a bad attitude, if someone doesn't do something my way they are wrong.
i know what i want and i want it now
i am scared to tell people i love Jesus
how dare i?!who do i think i am?!
i am craving a heart of humility and obedience
the more i am aware of how sinful i am the more i realise how incredibly precious Jesus death was, and how exceptional God's love is
and that, is causing me to love him more
the relationship that i have with God is so valuable because i am his beloved and i do not deserve it, even in my best moments, even the good i think i do..it is filthy rags
the love i have i do not deserve
how could i not love back with the tiny broken heart i have?
how could i not give my life, my dreams and my plans to someone who loves me in this state?
thankful
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