joy

it's been a weird week..
had a three way skype with Jill and Jude on Wednesday which was lovely but it went down hill from there.
felt so overwhelmed by uni work, the pressure of this year and just had a head full of regrets and fury
was in a place that i hadn't been since i failed my year 11 chemistry mock.
God brought me to my knees and made me realise that i am the biggest threat to my own joy
when i try to walk in my own selfish way, try to control and manipulate, i will flail and srtuggle
i had to give it all up all over again
and it is so painful and so against our human nature to submit our lives
but we have to
cause my treasure is in heaven
i am here for the glory of God and nothing else
no degree can even make a dent in my identity as a daughter of the king..
i need to remember, and work daily on making my priority Jesus
the temporary cannot affect the eternal

"...Denying oneself means denying one's rights:to self-fulfillment to job satisfaction to health to a husband or wife to choosing my lifestyle.."

turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his beauty and grace

finding joy in not being in control